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Worst lyric of all time?

sean [Edit] [Delete] 81 replies 10:54, 7 March '09

Shania Twain "Man, I feel like a woman" ...why have such a bad line and then make it the title of the song?! http://open.spotify.com/track/66CTx0E05qpihO0YKBVHq0

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  • ...

    I don't want to see a ghost,
    It's a sight that I fear most
    I'd rather have a piece of toast

    brusma | 7 Mar '09, 10:55 | X
    • The old classic

      I'm sure this thread has occured at least 17 times..

      Lofisongsaregreat @brusma | 7 Mar '09, 13:57 | X
    • *greatest

      Alex_b @brusma | 8 Mar '09, 09:24 | X
    • I had to listen to a terrible album the other day

      by some woman called Polly Scattergood. One of the lyrics was, "you can spit on my French knickers"...

      thephotobooth | 7 Mar '09, 11:01 | X
    • Without fail, this:

      No mommy don't do it again,
      don't do it again,
      I'll be a good boy
      I'll be a good boy, I promise.
      No mommy don't hit me,
      OW, why did you have to hit
      me like that mommy?
      Don't do it you're hurting me O-HOW.
      Why do you have to be such a bitch.
      Why don't you why
      don't you fuck off and die!
      Why can't you just fuck off and die!
      Why can't you just leave here and die!
      Never stick your hand
      in my face again, bitch.
      FUCK YOU!!!
      I don't need this shit!
      You stupid, sadistic, abusive, fucking whore.
      Would you like to see how it feels mommy?
      Here it comes get ready to DIE!

      medulla | 7 Mar '09, 11:41 | X
      • :D

        Oooo Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa \m/

        DangerousSnails @medulla | 7 Mar '09, 12:43 | X
      • He said worst not best!

        shucks @medulla | 7 Mar '09, 21:14 | X
    • i quite like this

      even though it is really bad pseudo-punk rubbish and makes no sense

      elliotc89 @Pigfoot | 9 Mar '09, 14:48 | X
      • they can't criticise upper class people

        whilst rhyming 'classes' with 'arses'. it smacks of hypocrisy.

        the manics knew this with 'masses against the classes'. that's more like it.

        oenso @elliotc89 | 9 Mar '09, 16:14 | X
        • All people who pronounce “class” to rhyme with “arse” are toffs?

          I’m guessing you’ve never seen EastEnders.

          joeymahone @oenso | 9 Mar '09, 17:04 | X
    • we're headed for venus

      maybe you've seen us?

      Gorkys_Forever | 7 Mar '09, 12:14 | X
      • Just imagine that he's saying "penis"

        and you've got a whole new song.

        ashstreath85 @Gorkys_Forever | 9 Mar '09, 20:32 | X
    • I know its almost a cliché to say it

      but the 'Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball...' line from Champagne Supernova -still- grates on me a decade and a bit on. Even as a 12 year old hearing it, I thought it was crap.

      Nicky Wire in recent years should probably get a few posts in this thread too.

      rodya | 7 Mar '09, 12:52 | X
      • Absolutely.

        Miss Euorpa Disco Dancer - both written and sung by the Wire is possibly the lowest point in human history (ish).

        My answer is always This Song by the Enemy - unbelievably trite, patronising and hilarious all at once. Plus rat boy is prominent in the video so is good to watch in a peverse, disgusting sort of fashion.

        Matthewjbutler @rodya | 7 Mar '09, 12:58 | X
        • It's even better

          When you've skipped vital university classes, paid over the top for flights and tickets at short notice to see them and he sings it live for you. Good memories.

          rodya @Matthewjbutler | 7 Mar '09, 13:14 | X
          • Sounds like some kind of David Lynch nightmare sequence

            Congratulations on the effort though.

            Matthewjbutler @rodya | 7 Mar '09, 13:18 | X
        • BRAIN DEAD MOTHER FUCKERS

          I love that bit.
          One of the highlights of an otherwise pretty middling album.

          sunbakedsnowcave @Matthewjbutler | 7 Mar '09, 21:14 | X
    • Song title/lyric shocker

      Now I know we don't expect Scouting For Girls to come up with any earth shattering ground breaking music or lyrics but whoever came up with

      I Wish I Was James Bond

      as a song needs shooting

      BreakyDaFunk | 7 Mar '09, 13:24 | X
    • lets grow old together

      and die at the same time

      (!!!)

      myslumberingheart | 7 Mar '09, 21:11 | X
    • This is either the best lyric in the world. Or the worst.

      "there was something like a wall between us
      That stopped you going down - on my penis"

      By Papa M (Dave Pajo) on the (excellent) Whatever, Mortal LP

      sunbakedsnowcave | 7 Mar '09, 21:16 | X
      • Certainly an attention grabbing one, that

        Personally I think it's a bit of a try-hard Will Oldham attempt. An otherwise pretty great album, though.

        CutOutCurtis @sunbakedsnowcave | 7 Mar '09, 21:20 | X
        • makes sense he hangs out with Bonnie Prince a lot don't he?

          sunbakedsnowcave @CutOutCurtis | 7 Mar '09, 21:34 | X
          • They're big mates, yeah

            Doesn't mean he's anywhere near as good at the slyly filthy lyric though. He is, however, a fantastic guitarist. One of my favourites, in fact.

            CutOutCurtis @sunbakedsnowcave | 8 Mar '09, 00:36 | X
        • I think almost all of the reviews I read mentioned that lyric

          Attention grabbing indeed. It's either wince or grin isn't it?
          One of my all time favourite albums that.

          stormcrow @CutOutCurtis | 8 Mar '09, 19:11 | X
    • ooh eee ooh aah aah ting tang walla walla bing bang

      iamwiggy | 7 Mar '09, 22:23 | X
      • this isn't the best lyric thread

        tirard @iamwiggy | 7 Mar '09, 22:24 | X
    • weirdly I was thinking how shit this was...

      ..and how much i hate mcartrey this very morning.

      broonski_beat @Saint_Cronin | 9 Mar '09, 09:59 | X
    • there's a whale in the pool with my mother,

      and my dad paints the house different colours,
      where would we be, if we couldn't dream?

      that's pretty bad

      livvyy | 7 Mar '09, 23:29 | X
      • Whilst I love Idlewild

        Roddy has written some truly awful lyrics in his time.
        _
        I created myself to be on my own
        but i didnt expect to be alone
        did you create yourself to be on your own
        these are the reasons things should be unknown

        fridgeinthegarden | 7 Mar '09, 23:32 | X
        • I REQUIRE YOU TO STOP AND LISTEN

          too_black_too_strong @fridgeinthegarden | 8 Mar '09, 02:45 | X
        • ^ This

          Roddy's a little like Paul Banks in that he can cover the really touching, the really embarassing and the really dull all in one track.

          amputee-porn @fridgeinthegarden | 8 Mar '09, 11:44 | X
      • Pretty much the entire of Lily Allen's "Fuck You Very Much"

        As Bush-baiting goes it's a) juvenile and a bit rubbish and b) a bit late since he's out of office

        "Your just some racist who can't tie my laces" stands out as being a particularly bad moment (especially as, for all the things you could accuse Bush of, racism isn't really one of them anyway)

        And a chorus of

        "Fuck you,
        Fuck you very very much
        Cause we hate what you do,
        And we hate your whole crew
        So please don't stay in touch

        Fuck you,
        Fuck you very very much
        Cause your words dont translate,
        And its getting quite late
        So please don't stay in touch"

        is hardly incisive political commentary either. It's a bit shit all round really. Decent tune though.

        theguywithnousername | 8 Mar '09, 08:30 | X
        • ^ this

          shrewbie @theguywithnousername | 8 Mar '09, 21:04 | X
      • Thread title pretty much describs the essence of the kooks

        Just take 24 times repeated words 'love it all'

        i-Am-Me | 8 Mar '09, 10:00 | X
      • 'you need a vacation, to wake up the cavemen and take them to mexico'

        Adam Green is abit weird, no?

        later in the song: 'tomorrow gets closer, a purple bulldozer is calling you on the phone'

        kneedeep | 8 Mar '09, 12:30 | X
        • I luuurve

          that shit

          lukas @kneedeep | 9 Mar '09, 05:24 | X
        • you're right

          he writes terrible nursery rhyme gubbins. I once interviewed him too, easily the most obnoxious musician I've ever met. He claimed that his lyrics take him weeks to finish because he is very particular about each line. He wasn't being funny.

          jamesdenial @kneedeep | 9 Mar '09, 16:33 | X
      • give me big black men give me white boys skinny give me ice cream on

        my birthday - Courtney Crackersby Love

        shatnerlivesforever | 8 Mar '09, 15:24 | X
      • Everyday I Love You Less And Less ..........

        I can't believe that you and me did sex.

        Eh?

        Souljacker84 | 8 Mar '09, 15:32 | X
        • What do you want for tea?!

          DangerousSnails @Souljacker84 | 8 Mar '09, 19:01 | X
          • I WANT CRISPS

            drakepress @DangerousSnails | 8 Mar '09, 20:51 | X
            • actually spat out tea

              thanks :)

              also shocked that that "did sex" is the lyric. was sure it was "...needed sex", amazing.

              oenso @drakepress | 9 Mar '09, 16:26 | X
        • i've always tried to figure out the second line

          if it's really what you reckon, then i'm lost for words.

          elliotc89 @Souljacker84 | 9 Mar '09, 14:53 | X
          • I’m pretty sure that’s what it is, yeah

            joeymahone @elliotc89 | 9 Mar '09, 17:07 | X
          • weird, same here.

            it sounds oddly plausible but unbelievable at the same time.

            ashstreath85 @elliotc89 | 9 Mar '09, 20:36 | X
      • i went out on a date with a girl a bit late

        she had so many friends!

        livvyy | 8 Mar '09, 19:04 | X
        • JUMP

          POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO
          BOUNCE
          POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO

          Citra @livvyy | 9 Mar '09, 21:18 | X
      • and the winner is...

        I use mouthwash
        Sometimes I floss
        I've got a family
        And I drink cups of tea

        greggraham | 8 Mar '09, 19:15 | X
      • im sorry for being controversial

        but "i was looking for a job and then i found a job, and heaven knows im miserable now."

        ummmmmmm
        Still love the band mind you

        WoofyB | 8 Mar '09, 19:47 | X
        • I always thought that was intentionally simplistic

          Since the song was to parody the Sandie Shaw song 'Heaven Knows I'm Missing Him Now'. Or perhaps I am just blinded by Morrissey fandom.

          That said, the new album has some cringeworthy moments. For example

          I was driving my car,
          I crashed and broke my spine,
          So yes, there are things worse in life than
          never being some-one's sweetie.

          That's how people grow up...

          What?

          rodya @WoofyB | 8 Mar '09, 20:06 | X
        • I don't get why you'd think that was a bad lyric.

          I think Morrissey's prone to the odd terrible lyric but I think that's a very, very good one.

          Surely the point he's making is that when you're unemployed you're unhappy 'cos your desperate to find a job and earn money and then when you're unhappy 'cos you have to waste so much of you're life working. So basically you're fucked either way. I think that lyric's an incredibly concise way of saying that.

          theguywithnousername @WoofyB | 9 Mar '09, 07:31 | X
      • I never realised how truly awful the following actually is...

        ...which is a damn shame as apart from the lyrics, I feckin' love this song:

        I gotz to hmmm, to throw on
        And go on, you know I gotz to flow on
        Selectors on ya radio play us
        cause were friendly for ozone
        But thats not all so hold on
        Tight, as I rock the mic right
        Oh.. excuse me, pardon
        As I syncronize with the analyzed
        Upcomin vibes the session,
        Let there be a lession, question
        You carry protection
        Or will your heart go on
        Like celine dion - karma chameleon

        Yeaah, straight from the top of my dome
        As I rock, rock, rock, rock, rock the microphone

        Hit me!

        Styles, steelos, we bring many kilos
        So you could pick yours, from the various
        Ambitious, nutrious, delicious, delirious
        Or vicious, just tell us
        We deliver anything from accappellas
        To best sellers, suckers get jealous
        But their soft like marshmellows
        You know they cant handle us
        Like debbie does dallas
        Yeah, we come scandalous so who tha fuck
        Is alice, is she from buckinham palace?

        Yeaah, straight from the top of my dome
        As I rock, rock, rock, rock, rock the microphone

        GarethRDR | 9 Mar '09, 09:53 | X
        • I have just remembered though...

          ...that Freestyler gets extra kudos for being the only song I can think of that opens with the screech of an eagle, and going all "Bill Odie on yo' ass". Magical.

          GarethRDR @GarethRDR | 9 Mar '09, 10:15 | X
      • Barney has written some stinkers...

        Could be that Im just losing my touch
        Or maybe you think my moustache is too much
        Satellite is out of control
        But you and I are brothers of the soul
        And you and I will come in from the cold

        shite no?

        broonski_beat | 9 Mar '09, 10:02 | X
      • i saw some pub rock band the other day

        one of the songs featured the lines:

        'Like a cigarette you hold me
        Like a dog you put me down'

        i had to leave the room cos i was laughing too much.

        packageholiday | 9 Mar '09, 10:11 | X
      • "GIIIIIIRL...

        your sex is on fire"

        Need I say any more!

        absolutpepper | 9 Mar '09, 11:14 | X
      • Might still have a soft spot for them

        BUT, my vote actually goes to Reef for their lyrics in 'Weird':

        In the morning when we wake
        We go down to the place
        When we get there we kick a ball
        We kick a ball in the car

        starshaped | 9 Mar '09, 11:20 | X
      • you rise you fall

        you're down then you rise again
        WHAT DON'T KILL YA MAKE YA MORE STRONG

        Broken Beaten & Scarred by Metallica

        soapy | 9 Mar '09, 14:54 | X
      • how in fuck have we had this whole thread without mentioning Scouting For Girls?

        07; Britain's finest secret agent, licensed to kill.
        Mixing business with girls and thrills.
        I've seen you walk the screen, it's you that I adore.
        Since I was a boy I've wanted to be like Roger Moore.
        A girl in every port, and gadgets up my sleeve.
        The world is not enough for the both of us it seems.

        So I wish I was James Bond, just for the day.
        Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.
        And I wish I was James Bond, just for the day.
        Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.

        Hello Mr Bond, I've been expecting you.
        Martini in your hand, and that eyebrow that you move.
        Don't take this the wrong way, I know it might sound odd.
        I'm the next double 0, I'm the right man for the job.

        So I wish I was James Bond, just for the day.
        Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.
        And I wish I was James Bond, just for the day.
        Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.
        I've a license, I've a license, I've a license to thrill.
        I've a license, I've a license, I've a license to kill.
        I've a license, I've a license, I've a license to thrill.
        I've a license, I've a license, I've a license to kill.
        I wanted to be you, I wanted to be you, I wanted to be someone else.
        I wanted to be you, I wanted to be you, I wanted to be someone else.
        And I wish I was James Bond, just for the day.
        Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.
        And I wish I was James Bond, just for the day.
        Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.
        And I wish I was James Bond, just for the day.
        Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away.
        Roger and Sean and Timmy and George and Daniel and Pierce and maybe one day me

        Right, now this band are so dull I don't even know what their lead singer is called. But, fucking hell, what a fucking tulip.

        jamesdenial | 9 Mar '09, 16:35 | X
        • I was a little too reactionary

          with all my swearing there. Apologies and that.

          jamesdenial @jamesdenial | 9 Mar '09, 16:36 | X
          • Wiggy Wiggy Wiggy

            I'm gettin' Jiggy.

            Lofisongsaregreat @jamesdenial | 9 Mar '09, 16:59 | X
      • her stories are boring and stuff

        she's always calling my bluff

        (darn)

        CasiotoneForJoe | 9 Mar '09, 16:59 | X
        • heh

          First thing I did when I opened the thread was to Apple+F Interpol.

          For those that haven't seen it, this is one of my favourite pieces of dismissive writing:

          http://www.stylusmagazine.com/articles/staff_top_10/top-ten-worst-lines-on-interpols-first-album.htm

          joeymahone @CasiotoneForJoe | 9 Mar '09, 17:11 | X
          • i really do miss stylus

            mansy @joeymahone | 9 Mar '09, 17:21 | X
        • you wear those shoes like a dove

          paul is consistent at least

          mansy @CasiotoneForJoe | 9 Mar '09, 17:11 | X
          • Oh Paul....

            But you're so young
            You're so young
            You look in my eyes
            You're so young, so sweet, so surprised
            You look so young...
            (drum roll)
            Like a daisy in my lazy eye

            ashstreath85 @mansy | 9 Mar '09, 20:39 | X
      • "There's nothing on the TV, nothing on the radio THAT I CAN BELIEEEEVE IN!"

        Ugh

        Acquiescence | 9 Mar '09, 21:10 | X
        • ALL MY LIFE

          OH

          WATCHIN' AMERICA

          bim_jim @Acquiescence | 9 Mar '09, 21:56 | X
      • i've got soul

        but i'm not a soldier

        but you are an arsehole.

        and "And they killed a man for his giro today" - i mean, fuck off how contrived

        the_ravens | 9 Mar '09, 22:13 | X
        • Reminds me of the Bill Bailey skit

          "'I've got soul but I'm not a soldier?' What does that even mean? It's like saying 'I've got ham but I'm not a hamster'"

          Oh dear, and the funniest thing about Killamangiro is that people think that's actually genuinely good lyrics and wordplay. Oscar Wilde is spinning in his grave

          ashstreath85 @the_ravens | 9 Mar '09, 22:58 | X
      • Of montreal's:

        I spent the winter on the verge of a total breakdown
        While living in Norway

        Is just so bizarrely odd and terrible, that I have to love it.

        XYZIA | 9 Mar '09, 23:05 | X
        • Hmmmm, didn't expect Of Montreal

          to appear in this thread... it's about his depression, in Norway apparently. I see what you mean though... ish.

          Ymmit @XYZIA | 9 Mar '09, 23:41 | X
          • yeah, I know

            it's all a true lyric, and tells the story of what happened, just every time I hear it it stick outs of the music and lacks any real flow.
            I love it, but because of the weird absurdity of it, it's just a real WTF moment.

            XYZIA @Ymmit | 9 Mar '09, 23:58 | X
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