I've just been reading the blog entry of some twattish pay to play promoter. I can't believe promoters like this exist. Only in London I guess....
Read, and LOL:
THIS MYSPACE DOES NOT EXCEPT BAND REQUEST AND ANY BAND YOU SEE ON THIS PAGE IS HERE BY INVITE ONLY, AND IF YOU ARE A BAND ON THIS PAGE DO NOT SEND US MESSAGES ASKING TO PLAY THE NIGHT CAUSE IF YOU ARE ANY GOOD YOU WILL BE INVITED TO PLAY. BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN FOLLOW THESE FIVE POINTS, AND READ THE REST OF THIS BLOG....
1) You can bring a crowd (if you can't don't bother)
2) Cool with getting £2 of a £5 door charge for every person you bring to see your band
3) Not play a London (or any city we put on a show) shows three weeks either side of the date
4) You must promote the event
5) Know this is a 18+ show (some shows are 16+)
Sorry the terms are so harsh but it is to ensure that it is a great day for you and your fans, so if you are still interested after reading of that get a hold of us.
IF YOU ASK FOR A SLOT BEFORE WE COME TO YOU, YOU WILL BE DELETED FROM OUR FRIENDS LIST AND UPON RECIVING AN INVITE TO PLAY A IN THE PRESENCE OF GREATNESS
EVENT BANDS HAVE 24 HOURS TO REPLY, AND IF YOU DO NOT REPLY I WILL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT BAND AND YOU RUN THE RISK OF GETTING DELETED.
* One golden rule - DON'T GIG TOO OFTEN. All promoters/venues require that you have a crowd. If you are playing twice a week, or even twice a fortnight all that will happen is you'll have a low turnout for each gig. This means you will never be able to progress to the next level, and probably won't get any re-bookings at venues. You'll burn out before you've even started. We understand the temptation of playing as much as possible, but remember that infrequent but busy gigs are much better for you and your ambitions than lots of quiet, soul-destroying gigs all over the place
* Don't do a "Tour Of London" (or what every town you are from)
* ALWAYS tell people you're playing earlier than you actually are
* Never cancel a gig unless it is absolutely unavoidable. "We've lost our drummer" may sound like a good enough excuse but it's not. Don't sack a member when you have a gig booked. Don't leave a band when you have a gig booked. Fulfil your commitments first
* Be organized. The stereotypical carefree, subversive rock'n'roll lifestyle is best saved for your future tabloid persona. In real life, you'll find the most successful bands are organised and professional. Major tours run with military precision. This means not being late, don't forget people's names, and most importantly READ YOUR CONTRACTS. Don't call up on the afternoon of the gig asking "what time are we on?"
* Be polite and professional to those you come across at gigs. This includes venue staff and other bands. There's an old saying in live music "Be nice to people on the way up, you never know when you'll see them again on the way down". Save the attitude for the stage
* Time your sets in rehearsal. Set timings are strict at venues, and you won't be able to play longer than the timings you're given in your contract
* Don't banter too much on stage between songs. You might mean well, but it can look amateurish. Don't tell a three minute anecdote explaining the following three minute song. If you have to explain a song in depth, what's the point in playing it?
* Have a back-up guitar if you can. Stopping a set half way through to change a string is disastrous
* Be prepared for the long haul. Over-night success is pure fiction
* Have fun. Enjoy it
Finally, if you have read this far then you have the right attitude. You'd be surprised at the amount of Emails we get saying "I've been looking at your website, how do I get to play at your night/venue?" Thank you for paying attention, and good luck.