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He gave my mother AIDS.
but AIDS aint one!
and each is directly the fault of Jay Z.
he made me realise I have 146 problems.
for a pair of glasses like Larry David's father for quite some time.
Jay Z wore simmilarish ones on Jonathan Ross.
I no longer want them.
A dream crushed.
is Jays fault.
anymore cause he wears the same glasses!!
to a happy ending massage. That'll make you feel better.
and if I don't get what's expected I may well have to.
is all Jay-Zs fault
property and ice is distorting world markets. And whilst we're on the subject of Jay-Z. Why oh WHY is he forcing supermarkets to sell soup in cartons instead of cans?! It makes me so angry. I love cans.
I couldn't find my left shoe.
Either my toddler has wandered off with it again or.....
JAY Z strikes once more! Damn him!
and Spain win Euro 2008...
at him playing Glastonbury I made a point of raiding 99 tents, one for each problem of his.
Thanks Jay Z. Now I'm a criminal.
but couldn't find a pitch for one.
i blame him for kids at school shouting Jay Z at our Geography teacher, yep those were his initials. it was funny for about 2 seconds and then got rather irritating.
that should actually be rather cool, teacher obviously has no sense of humour, yes?
Doctor Who dying, same night Jay-Z played, coincedence? And it'll be all his fault when they have the cunning loophole that keeps him in next week too.
Can we blame Jay-Z for Kanye West? I hate that duck...
Please release Lord Lucan so that he can face justice over here.
and The Moors Murders.
He's also best friends with Chris Langham
....I was walking down the stairs and fell over and as I fell I rolled and I've been rolling for 4 hours and i've scratched all my face off and you know who's bloody fault it is??
that he flew both planes.
"I got 99 Problems but primary among them is the infidel's occupation of the holy land!
Also, a bitch ain't one."
is clearly Jay-Z's fault
Just because you're better than me,
Doesn't mean that I'm Jay Z
all the players listen to hip-hop/RnB shit, most likely Jay-Z...how does this get them pumped up for games? They should listen to Slayer instead.
It made my Mummy cry.
slept with Ashley
Ticket sales were down. Some people blamed him.
Crime was up. One person's asking if his appearance might have had some sway in it.
the Heinz Mayonnaise advert taken off the air.
And I'm fairly sure he had a hand in Eldorado only lasting one series as well.
He just can't stop himself.
All of these statements are facts.
in 2002 (when we all know it should've been MBA's Talk Hard??)
than any post that i can remember in a while.
but it's still making me laugh!
and i'm looking in your direction Jay...
was poorly and was given an unnecessary enema, now it falls over when it sneezes
is producing Gary Glitter's new album.
Apparently he wants to be the Dave Sitek of the pederast world.
that weezer are no longer good.
Diana, Kurt, Jimi, Janis, Bob, HIV, Tsunami, global warming, Monster Munch changing their texture and Rinos no longer being made, me losing that fiver in the park when I was 12, Simon Cowell, Hiroshima.
All that stuff - you will find Jay Z, Zelig like, in the background...
but gave Noel a taste of his own creampie
Thanks to Jay-Z and his sampling of the popular musical Annie, I have suffered greatly since it's release.
shoots teenagers in london
is that a bit too current?
they dont know why theyre so big!
clearly will be the thread of the week, many a laugh.
but yes it should be
and installed Michael Aspel.
reckons that Peter Sutcliffe was simply "Having a laugh"
so now no one can enjoy it.
that'll explain my poor poor marks. The swine!
and set up dirty den's wife
They found Roc-A-Wear sneaker imprints.
I just got an email from firstname.lastname@example.org informing me that Mr. Carter had picked them out of the hairs around his bottom.
Or maybe even that Jay Z is 'doing a Radiohead'. You might, of course, not say that. I cannot tell.
but Jay Z couldn't give one shit
He's such a great bloke.
jizza.@jayznakofliberia.com sent me an email today. OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD he trusts me the most to take care of his deceased uncle's billions of dollars in return for half the cash! He just needs my account number and sort code.
he burnt my pizza
Just gave Sean Slater a right good hiding...