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"Emergency is the album the Arctic Monkeys might have made if they fired Alex Turner and replaced him with Michael off The Apprentice. What a horrible thought."
I didn't mind it as much as that though.
"As Emergency draws to its sophisticated conclusion - the last thing you hear are the words 'bell-end'"
when petreidis is on form he's amazing
"Emergency seems needlessly cruel, like reading out the menu from Alain Ducasse's Plaza Athénée restaurant to someone eating a Ginster's Scotch Egg Bar."
summarises it totally i think
You've been missing out...
Was reading this on the train this morning, then forwarded the link to a ton of people. It's genius.
It's kind of funny, and it's also a kind of below the belt hatchet job with a few cheap laughs thrown in for good measure.
He said what he thinks though, I suppose...
"you think ITV indie's bad, mate, here's Granada Men and Motors indie"
"it's like being dumped by Chris Moyles"
This one is very good as well, done on the audio bullys:
Aren't you supposed to explain what the music sounds like in music reviews?
I guess you just told us exactly what's important to you in your listening habits. Kudos.
that's belting stuff.
like Pigeon Detectives,
but I worry about Guardian reviews,
they seem to always bring 'class' into it, in this case working class. They did it with the courteeners (again not a fan) and the first Arctic Monkeys album.
any class conflict is the product of an imaginitive/reactionary reader.
The review merely pans a thoroughly crap band, in an often self-congratulatory and cheap, but often amusing, manner.
but what I said is true. Can you show me where the classism is?
but reminding the listener of vintage Morrissey and Marr midway through Emergency seems needlessly cruel, like reading out the menu from Alain Ducasse's Plaza Athénée restaurant to someone eating a Ginster's Scotch Egg Bar.
but then i remembered that quote and decided against it
I love the concept of being smug about hating Origin Of Symmetry and Myths Of The Near Future. Yeah, that really stopped their careers in their tracks!
I just read his Mika review, its amazing!
codswallop! but easy to see why one might do it
Genuinely well-written review! I loved it. The writer's a wordsmith. Slagging the Pigeon Detectives off is as easy as praising the Beatles, but the way he approaches it is perfect.
"Mammiferous female" is?!
... and say it probably means a large breasted lady.
then it's a lot easier to find things to complain about. If Johnny Foreigner were my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend's band I'd probably be able to find a way to justify giving it a 1 star review (I just listened to The End and Everything After for an example that any lyric taken out of context can be easily held to ridicule. Unfortunately the song doesn't have one but you get the idea).
People don't bother with them and just take them for entertainment value. Purists will say otherwise, but that's just the way it is.
reading that, the Pigeon Detectives really are gash.