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My favourite at the moment is that new Mariah Carey song:
"Touch my body ,Thankyou very much"
"Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body"
"Shoes on my feet - ALF GARNETT!"
"I feel like a wee when I poooo" instead of "I feel like I win when I looooose".
WANNA FALL FROM THE STARS,
STRAIGHT INTO YOUR ARSE.
always made me chuckle as a child.
"Gonna have Nutella tonight"
And probably my favourite: "Flinging out the fish at Avril Lavigne" (from The Fallen)
running through my head
He drives a submarine
"let's pee in the corner
let's pee in the spotlight"
it's a goddamn arse face!"
i think most of these could be misheard lyrics too
this is goddamn arse-rape"
Either work well :o)
also into cats?
a game at work where you replace the word 'Love' in songs with 'muff'. We have had quite a few funny and also sick responses. Some of my faves are:
Stop in the name of Muff
Muff is the word
All you need is Muff
and a Leona Lewis one which I won't repeat!
"is this muff, is this muff that i'm feeling? is this muff, muff, muff that i'm feeling?"
"The joke is Paul McCartney!"
you take a piece of meat with you
changed every word in Idlewild songs to "bum". it got annoying very quickly.
to be about Roddy's constant erection.
i always thought the line went
'life would be ecstasy, you and me and leslie' (instead of endlessly).
there was a brilliant eurythmics one too that i cant remember... and no it wasn't an angel playing with my fart...
everyone did the xmas songs at school right?
mary had a baby, yes lord.
stuck it in a jelly, yes oh lord.
we three kings of orient are,
one in a taxi, one in a car.
one on a scooter beeping his hooter
following yonder star.
oh star of wonder, star of might.
up above the traffic lights etc...
my mate used to think that "Never Ever" was 'Never ever am I ever going solo", a biggin' up the groups unity.
We were at secondary school, so that joke fueled us for a good few years!
A housemate used to sing the Phantom Planet song...
After telling her the truth, she then sang...
"California...California....Here we GOOOOO!!"
Stupid dyslexic girl, we love her anyway, everyone's equal and all that.
I've got Tourette's.
I predict a riot.
Unless you pronounce 'Tourette's' - 'Touriot', and 'got' - 'predict'.
Me and my friend did this in a Bioethics lecture earlier this year.
As fas as I'm aware, it fits perfectly.
"Get Fucked, Fudge"
“Oh my expanding waist line
will make me look shit.”
Now, somebody’s been asking...
when will you lose some weight?
You have to move yourself, to lose weight now.
You can’t rely on someone else, to lose weight, Fat-So.
Get fucked fudge.
It’s time to run.
Only you eat your buns smothered with heart attack.
All hands on the chocolate cake!
Get fucked fudge.
I know you will eat all day
You eat, you sleep,
and then you weep.
So follow me.
You weigh a tonne- you’ve cracked the ground...
your footsteps taunt the Richter Scale.
You’re fucking fat, and all can see.
Your arse is in a sessile state!
The fat man is falling down,
and we’ll all throw stones.
Follow my feet to lose weight,
and it won’t take you long to get thin...
hehe. In The Coast Is Always Changing:
'My postman's always racing.'
In I See Monsters by Ryan Adams:
'I'm staring at the ceiling, waiting for The Feeling.'
"Gimme some PIES!
Gimme some CAKE!
If you ain't got custard,
You ain't got mustard,
You ain't got nothin', nothin'!"
Also, Linkin Park, Crawling:
"Gavin's in my bin! That scrubber will not yield!" About a scabby boy called Gavin.
"last night i dreamt of some dago" when 'la isla bonita' comes on the radio
On the thankfully rare occasions when I hear New Kid In Town by the Eagles, my brain undergoes this strange operation whereby, even though it's neither hinted at nor a soundalike, I think the chorus goes "Johnny come lately, the king of the Jews..."
a friend of mine in secondary school thought that Atomic Kittens Whole Again had the lyric:
"Looking back in way of Houston"
instead of "Looking back to when we first met".
This didn't surprise me as she also thought Michael schumacher played for Man United.
can fill my hole again
"... tits and fanny, how we don't taaaaaalk anymore..."
Lol and, indeed, rofl.
Is it a lobster, is it a lobster?
Gonna take a shit
Gonna take a shit
Gonna take a real big shit
we're up all mexican monkey