Thurs 13th April 2006
181 Stoke Newington Church St
Cutting Pink With Knives
Chips For The Poor
Le Couteau Jaune
First band 8pm prompt - 11pm
Â£4/3 with flyer/Artrocker card
A celebratory night of everything musical from folk to punk, electronics and beyond....
Richt nae cheese on tonight's bill because it's Special. This evening will offer you more sonic diversity that Mariah Carey getting tongued by Shakira whilst Whitney Houston has a wee frap from behind the slats of the wardrobe and if you find that sexist then just substitute the names above with Tom, Dick and Harry and move on to the next paragraph.
First up we have the lovely VIXEN MEWS an all girl alt-folk band whose music gravitates around the song writing talent of an Irish lady by the name of Laura Hyland and whose make-up can be as lonesome as one or as innumerable as the rat, when anyone from cellist Katie English, to film and costume maker, Jules Goldsmith joins the marauding pack.
Their pieces are as haunting as they are delicate, a rich tapestry of harmonies, off key nuances and aplomb delivery culminating in some of the most esoteric back wood songs since Vashti Bunyan graced the scene in the late 60's.
Eerie at times, true, but how can you not admire a band who sometimes don 1950's cleaning lady outfits to perform in.
Prepare to be spellbound.
Ok, the nucleus of the next act is an old pal of mine and the courageous head of the colossus that is TRIPLANETARY, a sprawling avant-garde outfit that has more tentacles than the Kraken and less of idea where it's going than Steven Hawking blindfolded and forced to ride off a plank into the Pacific Ocean.
One minute there is a violin being played with a femur, the next an over processed CPU spitting like a kid chocking up on a biro cap. The whole show makes Strictly Come Dancing look like a stroll in a tent.
Quite frankly it is obscene, but it beats fantasising over the 'befores' in 'What Not To Wear.'
CHIPS FOR THE POOR, what can we say? A lot actually, i've never met a more decadent dandy in all my life.
Last time he appeared at Ryan's to promote his stellar single and Rob Da Bank fave, 'LSD, Who Said That,' he insisted on having red grapes squashed into his naked torso before going anywhere near the gold microphone we had flown in specially from a mountainside vault in the Swiss Alps. Well, now he's back and even shadier than Slim Picken's death scene in the Peckinpah classic, 'Pat Garrett and Billy The Kid.'
Tonight he's promised us a ball busting fire show involving speeding motorbikes, pushmepullyous and Gary Coleman riding a jet ski made out of mice.
Is there no stopping this transexual?
A great name isn't it? CUTTING PINK WITH KNIVES. It's so Vilayanur S. Ramachandran and Edward M.Hubbard.
These guys have had releases on London's cult Adaadat label and with the kings of casiocore, Trencher, and as per usual, I haven't even seen nor heard them yet, but already they're making me sicker than a three legged dog seeing its pal bury its other limb in quicksand.
They like being poked in the side of the head and 2 out of 3 of them are able to farm cabbages in sub zero temperatures using only a gyroscope and one of Old Blue Eyes' toupees. I really don't know what to expect but some of that Â£50m that was knicked the other week would be nice, oh, and the chance to be in the DVD extra's for Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction.
Finally, LE COUTEAU JAUNE, will take to the stage in one of their various guises in preparation for their Dutch super tour with the duke's of drone, Jazzfinger.
A disturbing combination of black humour, Victorian horror and the odd poem about bestiality; this sonic sarcoma will do their best to make you have nightmares later on that evening, though possibly not due to the poignancy of their words...more the painful memory of the amateurishness of their backing band. (bad joke)
This part of the evening is particularly liable to offend.