What is a girl to do? Join in the ageing fanbase of nineties combos who have reformed? Cry over spilled Bis and Stereolab? Embark on a whole new career as a dedicated follower of bands beginning with 'the' whilst sporting legwarmers, fishnets, cleavage and a frizzy side-parting covering up too much eyeliner?
Hang on to good old indie ethics and hang around Upstairs At The Garage? Or get with it and put in appearances at ComeOut2Nite and Afterskool? I hear that is where the trendy people go these days.
As you can see, we have a dilemma on our hands.
Everything the good people believed in has gone haywire it seems. Whatever happened to paper fanzines? I dare say that Internet Killed The Zine Kid Star - and look where it got us: we no longer send off glitterbomb letters to cool people we'll never meet. Instead, we join Friendster and converse with this-guy-who-knows-this-girl-who-used-to-be-in-a-band-whose-bassist's-gran-knew-the-people-who ... can you see where this is going?
Communication has broken down and that's just one example. Personal emails are getting sparse, instead discussion groups are set up - and there's always one who raids someone else's unsuspecting mailing list to clog up the conversation.
And I don't remember the last time I got well and truly excited about a new band. I don't think there is any left that do not model themselves on either 70s punk (come on, this one is going off fast) or some would-like-to-be-avantgarde indie popsicle outfit. Where's the twee indie with the brown shirts and corduroy flares gone? And why aren't people having fun any more? May I remind you it's okay to dress badly and jump around like a lunatic even though no one else recognises the tune?
However, Tabby on the X-Factor is NOT okay - which is why I won't be purchasing that Placebo singles collection.