Wyclef Jean
Perfect Gentleman

Reneging on his promise to be “gone until November” Wyclef Jean - The Worlds Most Talentless Man is back with - yet another - forehead-slappingly stoopid ditty.

This time, instead of the empty braggadocio of that - ahem! - duet with The Rock (talk about finding your intellectual equal), Wyclef is in sensitive mode.

The message of this one seems to be that, sure, he frequents lap-dancing clubs and the like, but unlike YOU he realises that the pole-dancers aren't necessarily Ladies of Easy Virtue. As he winningly warbles: “Just ‘cos she dance the Go-Go, don’t make her a ho, no.” thanks for putting us straight on that Wyclef.

Later the silver-tongued cavalier manages to seduce one of the dancing girls. Unfortunately he can’t seem to make his banal words fit easily to the insipid, bouncy, Hip-Pop beat: “We’re going to e-e-e-e-lope, to Me-heh-heh-hico”. Oh dear. Thing is though, why does he have elope? And why Mexico?? Spill the beans, Wyclef, she is ’of age’ isn’t she?

How does this clown get away with it though? Okay, so he introduced Lauren Hill to the world, but his towering megalomania and self-congratulation have allowed him to believe that his incessant, pointless shouting of “one time... two time”, that rendered The Fugees near unlistenable, was welcome. And who’s going to forgive him for re-releasing Bob Marley’s ’No Woman No Cry’ with his name and his annoying muttering slapped all over the record? His success is one of the many depressing ego-over-talent stories in pop. At the end of the song he finds room to pontificate and finger-wag some more by uttering supposed profundities: “let those without sin cast the first stone”.

Ready, aim...