They know where you live...

They know where you live

Right,so you spent your first year at uni in some student hall in the middle of nowhere.So what now?as a matter of fact students are not exactly Rockefeller's heirs,so usually the idea of sharing a house with others makes perfect sense.but does it really?

Read the following descriptions carefully to avoid the nu plight:the flatmates from hell.

1.the friendly dishwasher

The friendly dishwasher always seems a nice guy in the first place.he's always friendly and always tidies up after everyone.no matter if he wa asked to or not.fair enough.but sooner or later The Friendly Dishwasher will realize that he's the only one actually touching the dishes (that doesnt necessarily mean the others are a bunch of lazy bums,The Friendly Dishwasher is just always the first to discover the piles of pots caked in burnt beans.and due to his obsession he just has to sort this out immediately).once this point is reached,The Friendly Dishwasher will turn into a roaring Dish-zilla,wooing at both every single dirty mug and every single housemate in the kitchen (cos that's where Dish-Zilla usually hangs out).

Things to do:either simply get a pair of earplugs or try to live on takeaway.

2.Panicking Paul

actually living with a Panicking Paul isn't too bad.if he just didnt smell gas (alternatively fire) alll the time.Thus.the Panicking Paul is most often heard saying "have you seen the news today?thirty people died somewhere in Dorset because an entire estate blew up.and guess why?a gas explosion,of course.Uhm,let me just quickly check....." or "you've doublelocked the front door havent you?" (of course you haven't but you nod ecstatically,anyway).Another occuring problem with Panicking Pauls is visitors.Especially when your doorbell is not exactly loud.Cos if you can't hear the bell,but Panicking Paul does,it doesn't mean he's actually going to open the door cos first thing he expects at the front door is a knifeswinging psychopath.

But on the plus side,life is a lot safer with Panicking Paul around,so try to keep one in your flat,anyway!

3.the key-loser

cross the word "sleep" out of your mind if you happen to live with a key-loser.Cos the key-loser (obvioulsy) drops his keys all the time and everywhere (often acccompanied by amazing stories like "and then ploing it wenht down the toilet at Maidenhead Station.Of course I rang the firebrigade immediately,but then they couldnt be bothered...").Logical consequence is that without a key he obviously can't get in.Thus he either phones or bangs on the door like a madman (preferrrably weekdays at about 3 in the morning,of course).And because the keyloser is generally a notorious optimist,he doesnt give up till eventually someone jumps out of bed to open the door or answer the phone (and then stays awake to let the keyloser in when he eventually gets home).

Oh,and keeping a spare set of keys under the doormat usually doesnt help cos the keyloser would ,of course,find and misplace them within hours. A decent (though cruel) solution would be to leave the keyloser out in the cold for a night.

4.the carefree consumer

always broke and always hungry. don't even think about keeping that lovely doublecheese sandwich for the next day!!the carefree consumer will find and have it within hours!even pinning huge nametags on one's food won't help!the carefree consumer will just help himself,anyway.And down his spine runs that costly sojadrink..and in his stomach goes yesterday's chicken curry.and if caught in the act,the Carefree Consumer will just go "whoops,I didnt know that was yours" (and if he's clever he already destroyed evidence by flushing nametags down the loo) and then keep eating.very annoying. The carefree consumer should be stopped in the earliest stage by either locking the fridge (but then,has anyone ever seen a fridge with a huge padlock on.well,i havent) or preparing some special treats (here's some hints....chicken curry has a slight resemblance with dogfood........) to spoil Carefree Consumer's feast once and for all!