Although it is late at night, it has become apparent in my confused mind that cheese is an
important political tool.I shall explain....
We can divide the cheese world up into three sections.
In the left corner, we have the socialist
cheeses....these can be discerned by their red (ie.
labour) hue and the fact that some of them even
adversite their marxist views in their names eg. Red
Leicester. In the right corner, we have the
Conservative cheeses, such as Stilton which tend to
have some form of blue in them...also they tend to be
quite strong -which reflects tory views-(although
Hague is yet to announce that he did 14 slices of
gorgonzola per day.) and also crumbly; is it mere
coincidence that these cheeses tend to originate from
the Tory heartland of middle England?? However, down
the middle we have what we call the liberal cheeses
such as Lancashire and Cheshire which are yellow and
have an inoffensive flavour which aims to please all.
The cheeses are even kept seperately at the Asda
cheese counter, in order to dispell political food
fights. Looking further into this theory, we could, if
we liked, determine somebody's voting preference by
the subliminal signals sent out through their cheese
of choice...however, i feel the best way to implement
this theory would be at the next election, when the
swing-o-meter can be replaced by the far less g.u.s.t
method of a cheese-wheel cum pie chart.
Thus we have a case of cheese imitating life.
Do you think I'll get a dissertation out of this??