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I hate the apprentice but I still watch it

DarwinDude [Edit] [Delete] 105 replies 00:11, 16 May '13

As soon as they got that box delivered I said to my housemate they should just bow out now and see what lord sugar makes of that. Has a team ever gone on strike? That's what I would do.

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  • When I used to have a life before I became a bum,

    I had an apprentice winner working as my PA. Now I spend my days ripping coupons out of Take a break magazines and watching henrik Larsson compilations on youtube. WHO's THE WINNER NOW?

    (I think it's me).

    PickledOeuf | 16 May '13, 00:18 | X
    JaguarPirate this'd this
  • (I only caught the last five mins of toniht's show, but..

    Is this the Dra Queen edition? Fucking hell. It was like an unseemly catfight punctuated by lips and eyelashes.)

    PickledOeuf @PickledOeuf | 16 May '13, 00:21 | X
  • I liked how Karen teased the girls into thinking they'd won

    then was all like "...No orders!" then all the boys did their "PHWORCOMEONYEAHHH" faces.

    pip_ | 16 May '13, 03:15 | X
  • a box ffs

    douchebag | 16 May '13, 08:01 | X
  • Mitchell and Webb nailed The Apprentice for what it's like here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ss-59fi4nM

    I'm typing on my phone. I hope the link works.

    BMS1 | 16 May '13, 08:26 | X
  • This is the year I've finally given up on it.

    Feels good!

    thewarn | 16 May '13, 09:34 | X
    justanothersheeldz and joeymahone this'd this
  • Charlie Brooker described the contestants on 10 o'clock live

    As something like:

    A poster in a dated hair salon, a woman dressed up like a dog, an arse, a transsexual drag queen, a walking monobrow and a Jimmy Carr sex doll.

    Made me laugh. Stopped watching in series 2 myself when it seemed they went from employing vaguely business savvy people to walking fuck ups designed to get cheap laughs.

    vamos | 16 May '13, 09:43 | X
  • not just any box mind!

    *wheels*

    freddiehubbard @douchebag | 16 May '13, 09:43 | X
  • :D

    TheoGB @BMS1 | 16 May '13, 11:49 | X
    furio, Woodchuck, and oenso this'd this
  • chris, the beautiful runner-up from 3 years ago, works at my sisters firm

    DarwinDude @PickledOeuf | 16 May '13, 11:52 | X
  • i fancy that really annoying girl

    :(

    chris-budget | 16 May '13, 11:56 | X
  • DarwinDude's not so bad.

    zxcvbnm- @chris-budget | 16 May '13, 11:57 | X
    DarwinDude, Royter-Hatfood, and andyvine this'd this
  • I've been drawn in and I hate myself for it

    zxcvbnm- | 16 May '13, 11:58 | X
    NoahVale this'd this
  • megalol

    chris-budget @zxcvbnm- | 16 May '13, 12:00 | X
  • I think the secret is to treat it as you would Big Brother

    It's all bollocks, but can still entertain. Just need to remember that, despite what Sugar says, it's a TV programme first and a 10 week job interview second

    NoahVale | 16 May '13, 12:01 | X
  • not sure making fun of a woman's appearance and using the term 'transsexual drag queen' pejoratively isn't just misogyny and transphobia

    it can'tpossibly be though, charlie brooker is so clever.

    DarwinDude @vamos | 16 May '13, 12:02 | X
    bowiecokemirror this'd this
  • see what you've done now

    NoahVale @vamos | 16 May '13, 12:03 | X
  • http://youtu.be/OVllojg4GCM

    ThierryEnnui @PickledOeuf | 16 May '13, 12:03 | X
    PickledOeuf this'd this
  • I like to imagine that hours after all the contestants have gone home

    Alan Sugar is still sat in the boardroom with the camera crew shouting, ‘Glue-less? More like bloody clueless!,’ over and over again at the empty spaces in front of him and crying.

    dorftrottel | 16 May '13, 12:04 | X
  • i think this pretty much does happen

    it must be soooooooooooooooooooooooooo edited

    anyway - that task yesterday was HARD - one of the only ones where i think i would have properly ballsed it up

    chris-budget @dorftrottel | 16 May '13, 12:05 | X
  • i hate you but i still watch you

    through your window, when you sleep

    alcxxk | 16 May '13, 12:08 | X
  • that's not me btw

    DarwinDude @alcxxk | 16 May '13, 12:09 | X
  • ffffffffffffffffuck

    alcxxk @DarwinDude | 16 May '13, 12:10 | X
  • Fancied Uzma

    untrue | 24 May '13, 16:34 | X
  • Feel a bit bad for Jason

    his team always wins and no-one talks to him when they're getting their treats.

    Royter-Hatfood | 24 May '13, 16:36 | X
  • why have I only just seen this

    This is... magical.

    PickledOeuf @ThierryEnnui | 24 May '13, 17:11 | X
  • The boardroom editing is getting more and more clunky

    Contestant makes a joke, cut to shot of stoney faced Alan Sugar, cut back to anxious looking contestant. It barely makes sense half the time.

    Royter-Hatfood @chris-budget | 24 May '13, 17:19 | X
    colinzealuk and pip_ this'd this
  • Are we all in agreement that this is the best year for a long time?

    If not, we should be.

    Personally salivating at the thought of seeing Louisa get the boot - which surely SURELY has to be soon.

    LOLpop | 30 May '13, 17:26 | X
  • Think it's been pretty average to be honest

    Antpocalypsenow @LOLpop | 30 May '13, 17:27 | X
  • My 5 finalists would be:

    Neil
    Alex
    Myles
    Rebecca
    Leah

    LOLpop | 30 May '13, 17:29 | X
  • Come on man, the 'tidy sidy'..

    LOLpop @Antpocalypsenow | 30 May '13, 17:31 | X
  • Dunno, seems a lot better than the last few to me.

    They've got some really pricks in the group. Watching Zee get called out for being a sexist twat by the women he brought in was ace. Was slightly less good to see Shugs and Brady let him off but I guess we couldn't expect anything else.

    TheoGB @Antpocalypsenow | 30 May '13, 17:31 | X
    andyvine this'd this
  • What a horrid little toad he was.

    Thoroughly enjoyed Natlie and Leah's onslaught.

    LOLpop @TheoGB | 30 May '13, 17:35 | X
  • i liked it when zee said his property brokering company had a turnover of £500,000 last year

    so he sold a couple of houses last year?
    big wow

    chris-budget | 30 May '13, 17:36 | X
  • Leah will win won't she?

    Looking forward to seeing Jordan come unstuck, he seemed ok initially but has got unbearably smug in recent weeks

    Antpocalypsenow | 30 May '13, 17:45 | X
  • I hope Leah does win. Her or Alex.

    LOLpop @Antpocalypsenow | 30 May '13, 17:47 | X
  • Leah seems the most intelligent probably

    untrue | 30 May '13, 17:50 | X
  • Didn't know Rebecca's from Wigan

    untrue | 30 May '13, 17:51 | X
  • I just wish some of them would go out with a bit of a fight when they're fired

    like, rather than all the 'thank you for the opportunity' bollocks they just say 'Oh, fuck off then'. They've already ruined any serious career ambitions they harboured by being on the show.

    labmonkeya529 | 30 May '13, 17:56 | X
    untrue this'd this
  • I'd like to know who started the thank you for the opportunity thing

    it's awful. Everyone does it now.

    untrue @labmonkeya529 | 30 May '13, 17:57 | X
  • Miles will win I reckon

    If only because he seems relatively normal / not a complete cretin.

    Can't stand any of the girls, quite like the posh fella as well.

    Reckon next series it should be given an overhaul as it's feeling incredibly tired now...

    berrk | 30 May '13, 17:58 | X
  • *Kilometres

    LOLpop @berrk | 30 May '13, 17:58 | X
    untrue this'd this
  • they should just mumble under their breath

    'thanks for wasting my time' and then when he's like 'what was that?' then they go for the 'oh, FUCK OFF'

    labmonkeya529 @untrue | 30 May '13, 18:00 | X
    chris-budget and berrk this'd this
  • I liked Uzma cos you could tell she just thought it was all a laugh and didn't take it seriously

    untrue | 30 May '13, 18:01 | X
  • I can't wait for him to be PM.

    LOLpop @berrk | 30 May '13, 18:02 | X
  • She let herself down really badly when she was selling outside the farm store.

    She didn't want to be involved in that aspect, yet it's about 60%of the whole competition.

    TBH I don't reckon Shug has called it wrong yet.

    LOLpop @untrue | 30 May '13, 18:04 | X
  • Somebody, Welsh eyebrows, maybe said

    "Sorry to disappoint you Lord Sugar" as they left the boardroom.
    A new low...

    JGJug @untrue | 30 May '13, 18:34 | X
    Antpocalypsenow, untrue, and Axis this'd this
  • lovely lovely Myles <3

    TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 22:33 | X
    wonton this'd this
  • Zee shouldn't have gone

    but he does have a problem with women so it was probably for the best that he did.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 22:34 | X
  • he basically fired himself at the start though by saying "I know dubai like the back of my hand."

    whenever a candidate announces they're brilliant at an aspect of a task/jump at the chance to be PM, it's guaranteed that they'll fuck it up superbly.

    shucks @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 22:37 | X
    TheBeautifulOnes_ and blimeycharlie this'd this
  • I don't know who's worst out of

    Leah, Louisa and Alex.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @shucks | 30 May '13, 22:42 | X
  • I have since stopped watching it

    DarwinDude | 30 May '13, 22:44 | X
  • did anyone else read this as if Jason posted it, in his plummy voice

    trreeeat.s

    Axis @Royter-Hatfood | 30 May '13, 22:46 | X
  • I think you should sign up for the next series.

    Axis @chris-budget | 30 May '13, 22:48 | X
    TheBeautifulOnes_ this'd this
  • i was gonna just watch the last episode on iplayer and start watching from there

    but they're all still available and i cba with that

    shrewbie @DarwinDude | 30 May '13, 22:51 | X
  • Big fan of Alex (got him in my work sweepstake) made a decent chair/table thing

    and I liked his response when he was asked if he wanted viagra.

    shucks @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 22:54 | X
  • Oh come on! He's a complete nob.

    Very poor lineup this year tbf, my favourite is Myles cause he should be a terrible guy but isn't. My Mum's annual Apprentice crush is Jason, but she fancied that turd Leon a couple of years back so her opinion is invalid.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @shucks | 30 May '13, 22:56 | X
  • A firm (not so) guilty pleasure.

    Lordsugar's scriptwriters have defo earnt their keep. There's been some top quipping from the big guy.

    Amazing how much of the high drama format template has been ripped and applied to stuff like GB Bake Off.

    Also: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr3eT3kZz4A

    TheWza | 30 May '13, 23:14 | X
  • Totally fallen for Miles

    He's a suave silver fox but instead of being smooth and arrogant with it, he seems like a friendly dad who'll get you out of a hole with his credit card.

    Also like Leah, Alex and Jordan though so yeah, decent year actually

    wonton @berrk | 30 May '13, 23:15 | X
    blimeycharlie this'd this
  • Apologies to your mum

    But Jason is one of the worst. Hasn't he come from a literature background or something. Makes you never want to read again.

    Alex is fine, seems quite nice which cancels out his annoying side. Plus... "you silly shit". Leah was a bit moany this week but I don't really blame her so long as it doesn't continue

    wonton @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:18 | X
  • He's a history PhD student or some shite.

    I don't mind him, he's a bit fastidious but not a business cock.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @wonton | 30 May '13, 23:20 | X
  • He isn't a business cock, sure

    But didn't he say something like "effortless superiority". That's even worse

    wonton @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:24 | X
  • Dude, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think much

    of your character assessments.

    Zee should have definitely gone. Alex and Leah are obvious finalists.

    I'll agree with you about Louisa though.

    LOLpop @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:30 | X
  • oh yeah.

    Fair enough.

    It's the worst lineup in a while at any rate, possibly the worst ever.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @wonton | 30 May '13, 23:30 | X
  • One problem that remains with the show

    Is the predictability of who's getting fired soon. I reckon it's Kurt and Natalie for the next two shows, then Jason or Francesca for the two after. Neil will be one of those.who gets quite far but has to be sacked before the final four as he can't work with anyone.

    wonton | 30 May '13, 23:32 | X
  • Thats alright. It hasn't stopped being good.

    LOLpop @DarwinDude | 30 May '13, 23:32 | X
  • Don't agree with this either

    It you having something underhand against the Welsh guy you racist turd

    wonton @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:34 | X
  • Ah no worries!

    I really didn't like Zee but they had it in for him from the start.
    Alex and Leah are just irritating in multiple ways.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @LOLpop | 30 May '13, 23:35 | X
  • Kurt is the worst cunt.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @wonton | 30 May '13, 23:36 | X
  • Is he the milkshake guy?

    I keep getting him and the other Scouse lad muddled up.

    blimeycharlie @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:41 | X
  • *curd

    DarwinDude @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:44 | X
  • Yeah. that's the one.

    Smart dresser but just bats his eyes at people rather than doing anything.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @blimeycharlie | 30 May '13, 23:45 | X
  • sorry that's an injoke with untrue

    DarwinDude @DarwinDude | 30 May '13, 23:45 | X
  • I really like Alex. I suppose he's an acquired taste though.

    When I first saw him I thought he was a bit of a bell.

    I really want to see Jason as a PM. It has so much hilarity potential - I really hope he gets a chance before he gets the boot.

    LOLpop @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:47 | X
  • @untrue

    DarwinDude @DarwinDude | 30 May '13, 23:48 | X
  • No way dude.

    Its the best line up for at least 3 years.

    LOLpop @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:48 | X
    blimeycharlie this'd this
  • They're all terrible people.

    I guess that's the attraction, though.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @LOLpop | 30 May '13, 23:52 | X
  • STILL don't agree

    Theyre always horrible people. This season there's actually more than one seemingly okay person.

    wonton @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:58 | X
  • This needs to happen as a matter of urgency.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @LOLpop | 30 May '13, 23:59 | X
    blimeycharlie this'd this
  • Aye.

    If they were all a) pleasant and b) competent, it'd be a very dull programme.

    blimeycharlie @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 30 May '13, 23:59 | X
  • Myles and Francesca

    agreed.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @wonton | 31 May '13, 00:01 | X
  • Wasn't he PM on the first episode

    wonton @LOLpop | 31 May '13, 00:16 | X
  • That was Alex I think.

    Pretty sure Jason hasn't been the PM.

    LOLpop @wonton | 31 May '13, 09:29 | X
    TheBeautifulOnes_ this'd this
  • He seems to have the ability to not look anyone in the eye.

    Makes him seem really shifty.

    TheSoundofBastards @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 31 May '13, 13:00 | X
  • naaa, it's an interesting line up for once

    last year was awful - most of the candidates were boring as hell. At least this year they've got some with proper delusions of grandeur, haircuts and tunes.

    shucks @TheBeautifulOnes_ | 31 May '13, 14:36 | X
  • hes textbook supervillain

    inside-outside @JGJug | 31 May '13, 15:12 | X
  • When i was watching their piss poor attempts at haggling

    i was reminded of Sayid, that man know how to haggle, and talk himslef out of being fired. Plus he was a right bastard.

    sharp_yet_blunt | 31 May '13, 17:21 | X
  • Sub-Thread! Favourite and least-favourite Apprentice candidates

    Favourite: Raef
    Least Favourite: Katie (from season 3...I think)

    wonton @sharp_yet_blunt | 31 May '13, 18:24 | X
  • Favourite: dear Raef

    Least favourite: Phil Taylor
    Most underrated: Ben Clarke (basically how I imagine chris_is_cool irl)
    Most overrated: Lee McQueen. Horrid.

    TheBeautifulOnes_ @wonton | 31 May '13, 18:26 | X
  • Myles being great again

    Don't really like Luisa but liked her rant at the corporate world. Really sneezy put down from Karen though.

    wonton | 5 Jun '13, 22:50 | X
    blimeycharlie this'd this
  • Oh fuck

    She's ruined it with the "boxed by my looks" comment.

    wonton @wonton | 5 Jun '13, 22:53 | X
  • Classic Samantha Brick defence right there

    jopzorz @wonton | 5 Jun '13, 22:56 | X
    wonton this'd this
  • Harsh sacking there

    She may have paid for the motivational speaker, but without him they may have asked for a bigger refund anyway

    jopzorz | 5 Jun '13, 22:57 | X
    blimeycharlie this'd this
  • Aaand now Sugar's made his first bad firing

    Great

    wonton @wonton | 5 Jun '13, 22:58 | X
  • Aye, he sounded about the only good thing about their event.

    blimeycharlie @jopzorz | 5 Jun '13, 22:59 | X
  • why did he sack that one? she seemed amazing

    she should be an actress or something

    shrewbie | 5 Jun '13, 23:02 | X
  • I'm actually starting to warm to Neil a bit.

    Seems like a nicer chap than he would first appear.

    blimeycharlie | 5 Jun '13, 23:03 | X
  • Undecided

    Came across well this episode but he's never far away from blatant arrogance.

    wonton @blimeycharlie | 5 Jun '13, 23:06 | X
  • is she on twitter?

    shrewbie @shrewbie | 5 Jun '13, 23:09 | X
  • Shugs is a contrary old fucker isn't he.

    How did he not sack the other one.

    Axis | 5 Jun '13, 23:12 | X
  • just waiting for you other nine to get sacked now. he's probably right

    Axis @wonton | 5 Jun '13, 23:13 | X
  • gonna watch all the other eps now

    shrewbie @shrewbie | 5 Jun '13, 23:34 | X
  • alan sugar's actually really stupid

    shrewbie @shrewbie | 5 Jun '13, 23:58 | X
  • Thing about Neil,

    is while he is quite arrogant, he matches it with being also proactive. He's not afraid to say "well, we want to win this so X and I are going to do this and get the result."

    Does seem like someone that could have an idea that Lord Sugar will warm to. From a footballing background and a fairly shrewd operator. Once he doesn't make a complete cock of himself, he looks good.

    Ekels @blimeycharlie | 6 Jun '13, 00:29 | X
  • Absolutely cringeworthy that.

    Thought both events were pretty bad; the 'school' one only marginally so, because they had no idea what they were doing. £5,000 to make cupcakes and drink some wine? Fuck off.

    Francesca shot herself in the foot with the immortal lines 'I've been to a lot of these events so this task is perfect for me' or something. Yeah, you've lost.

    Genuinely amazed that Jordan and his smug little face is still there.

    Actually warmed to Neil a bit.

    shucks | 6 Jun '13, 10:32 | X
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