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FAO: DiS Mods

LordLuciusBanter [Edit] [Delete] 138 replies 15:39, 23 November '12

This place has gone to the absolute dogs. I want out and request to be banned.

When I started posting back in the ethers of time, it was a bastion of wit, like a fin de siecle Parisian coffe house. Like artists drunk on such much absinthe we reached new heights of banter, like MTFU and Geoff the boring Policeman. It felt like a creative home.

Now it has all the ambiance of a Yates on a Saturday night in some mickey mouse provincial bog like Manchester, filled to the brim with women of loose moral virture and men vommiting their own inadequacies down themselves like so much blue VK ice.

I've had enough and this is to serve as my adieu (that's French, phillistines).

Not that I will be mourned. People have ever increasingly been a dick to me. Well, boy oh fucking boy will you learn the errors of your ways.

I mean here, I am, the master of the anecdote and what do I get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. None of you appreciate me, WHAT-SO-FUCKING-EVER.

I mean just LOOK at my body of work. JUST FUCKING LOOK AT IT! I'm magnificent.Yet my posts are met with ever dimishing interest. Just today, I reposted my Statistics story and it received a meagre 8 thises. EIGHT! The original posting received a colosall 37. Proof is in the pudding.

I tell you all I story about how much a winner my mate is, and you all have a fucking cry. I pour my heart about with a traumatic story about having pus pour out of me and you seem to think this is funny?! You're all bullys and I won't stand for it any longer.
I'm tired of being the butt of people's jokes. I'm done. Out. Finished. The end my lack of friends.

I've PMed joeymahone with an electronic will and a list of my best posts to be preserved for posterity.

I also bequeath moral ownership of the ^this thread and custody of my three joke accounts: AilingSirAlex, TheMansDaddy and marckee to TheWza. I'm sure he'll see them right.

I'll maybe see a few people around. Everyone else can have this on their conscience and think about what they've done. I'm a good guy but you bastards have pushed me to it.

This isn't a joke. Goodbye, it's been fun

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  • Your anecdotes have been suffering lately

    Maybe you're due a break

    andyvine | 23 Nov '12, 15:42 | X
  • umm ok. Bye.

    I think your leaving will not exactly help the inevitable decline, acually, and I think you have a responsibility to stay.

    PickledOeuf | 23 Nov '12, 15:42 | X
    incandenza_ this'd this
  • You can have some of the thises from the anecdote I told yesterday if that helps?

    DanielKelly | 23 Nov '12, 15:43 | X
  • Oh hang on, they were thises to a reply, not my post.

    Fuck that.

    It pains me to say this- you'd best do me as well, Theo.

    DanielKelly @DanielKelly | 23 Nov '12, 15:44 | X
  • *Bullies

    Kitchmo | 23 Nov '12, 15:44 | X
  • virture

    LLB, really now.

    Loui_Tacceh | 23 Nov '12, 15:44 | X
  • Bit forward.

    deadonthestairs @DanielKelly | 23 Nov '12, 15:45 | X
  • Who are you again?

    Songs_about_ducking | 23 Nov '12, 15:46 | X
  • Goodnight, sweet prince.

    monoshono | 23 Nov '12, 15:46 | X
    fitzcarraldo this'd this
  • this is like Obama packing it in as the US hurtles towards the financial cliff

    incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 15:47 | X
  • *Proof of the pudding is in the eating

    Balonz | 23 Nov '12, 15:47 | X
    thewarn and Royter-Hatfood this'd this
  • I told Miss Wilykit the puss story and she looked at me with horror.

    I'll always have that. Always.

    wilykit | 23 Nov '12, 15:48 | X
  • oh cmon

    Even if I wasn't one of the objects of parody it'd positively reek of the stuff

    Loui_Tacceh @PickledOeuf | 23 Nov '12, 15:48 | X
  • top banter

    gonad | 23 Nov '12, 15:50 | X
  • Maybe just ban cat_race

    Royter-Hatfood | 23 Nov '12, 15:51 | X
  • http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4420570#r7176682

    japes | 23 Nov '12, 15:51 | X
  • top top trolling

    cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 15:52 | X
  • Realised you were about to hit 30,000 posts, eh?

    Steved | 23 Nov '12, 15:52 | X
  • You need new anecdotes then if the original one got more.

    meowington | 23 Nov '12, 15:53 | X
    Royter-Hatfood, lyserge, and poptimusgrime this'd this
  • it languishes in considerable want of sophistication, I'd aver

    Loui_Tacceh @cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 15:54 | X
  • are you saying i have destroyed DiS?

    cat_race @Royter-Hatfood | 23 Nov '12, 15:54 | X
  • Goodnight sweet prince. x

    http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4420587

    TheWza | 23 Nov '12, 15:55 | X
  • i don't understand what this means

    cat_race @Loui_Tacceh | 23 Nov '12, 15:55 | X
  • I heard LLB is planning to start leasing commercial vehicles with all his spare time

    Lord Lucious Van-Hire

    incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 15:55 | X
  • I thought you were joking when you mentioned this the other day.

    RIP in peace LLB.

    eltham | 23 Nov '12, 15:55 | X
  • i'll say that you have

    brusma @cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 15:56 | X
  • please can I post this again with a tider set-up and correct spelling of 'Lucius'

    incandenza_ @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 15:57 | X
  • Looks like we've filled the spot of chief joke-maker on the boards quicker than expected.

    deadonthestairs @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 15:57 | X
    andyvine this'd this
  • I've heard he'll now be going everywhere at a medium paced run

    LordLuciusCanter.

    Steved @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 15:57 | X
  • you're saying i'm entirely capable of destroying internet community

    drowned in sound

    cat_race @brusma | 23 Nov '12, 15:57 | X
  • If this is SRSBSNS,

    You do have quite a high opinon# of yourself, don't you?

    deadonthestairs | 23 Nov '12, 15:57 | X
  • Yes

    as long as you replace the Van-hire bit too.

    Balonz @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 15:58 | X
  • dont know who are..

    but wish you all the best

    Matt_was_taken | 23 Nov '12, 15:58 | X
  • subtle.

    wilykit @deadonthestairs | 23 Nov '12, 15:58 | X
  • tider

    incandenza_ @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 15:58 | X
  • *for FAO of

    *proof of the pudding is in the eating

    chickenbones | 23 Nov '12, 15:58 | X
  • I want to teabag Alec Salmond.

    marckee | 23 Nov '12, 15:59 | X
  • people will never achieve happiness when they take themselves this seriously.

    but like i actually said, top top trolling

    cat_race @deadonthestairs | 23 Nov '12, 15:59 | X
  • http://www.id-wall.com/images/large/MP010130-b-Monster-Cat.jpg

    andyvine @cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 15:59 | X
    cat_race this'd this
  • Lord Luscious Gran-Hire

    if you need a more attractive grandma for social occasions.

    incandenza_ @Balonz | 23 Nov '12, 16:01 | X
  • As if you'd quit before promoting the hell out of your NYE night.

    svenrokk | 23 Nov '12, 16:02 | X
  • loss of Mark Hughes really got to you eh, champ?

    douchebag | 23 Nov '12, 16:02 | X
  • * of

    no-class | 23 Nov '12, 16:04 | X
  • ah. sorry, monoshono.

    TheWza @TheWza | 23 Nov '12, 16:08 | X
  • putting the 'ban' into banter

    japes @gonad | 23 Nov '12, 16:09 | X
  • Can I just check how you pronounce banter?

    Or possibly hire?

    Balonz @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 16:10 | X
    waffle this'd this
  • RIP in peace

    is a good addition too. Well played eltham.

    automatik @chickenbones | 23 Nov '12, 16:10 | X
    chickenbones this'd this
  • bit needy

    japes | 23 Nov '12, 16:11 | X
  • what about

    cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 16:11 | X
  • Is this real?

    This is sad. In every sense of the word.

    hip_young_gunslinger | 23 Nov '12, 16:11 | X
  • shut up Balonx

    incandenza_ @Balonz | 23 Nov '12, 16:12 | X
    thewarn, deadonthestairs, chickenbones, and xheathenx this'd this
  • wat

    whiterussian | 23 Nov '12, 16:12 | X
  • ::kills self via death by a thousand ^This-tle JAGs for getting the name of our glorious leader wrong::

    TheWza @marckee | 23 Nov '12, 16:14 | X
  • (but not before entering into a schizophrenic concrete-esque debate re: validity of Alec v Alex)

    TheWza @TheWza | 23 Nov '12, 16:19 | X
  • most of your anecdotes are largely made up anyway, right?

    maybe your imagination is shrivelling up and withering away in your old age

    (just liek yr penus)

    anal_schwarzenegger | 23 Nov '12, 16:20 | X
  • Not your best Joke of the week...

    vamos | 23 Nov '12, 16:21 | X
  • you couldve just personal pm'd a mod..

    Matt_was_taken | 23 Nov '12, 16:23 | X
  • but then how would anyone know to go to his club?

    cat_race @Matt_was_taken | 23 Nov '12, 16:24 | X
  • Didn't have you down as a needy bumsnogger, pal.

    You do have a point in there somewhere. Lots of the regular posters who've popped up over the last year or so are really, really shit, but i think we said that last year, the year before, and the one before that.

    PS: I'd drink you under the table, you eggchasing tart.

    forzaborza | 23 Nov '12, 16:25 | X
  • it's standard for all forums

    it's how old timers feel special. there has to a way for people that have wasted more years on a forum to justify their existence

    cat_race @forzaborza | 23 Nov '12, 16:26 | X
    gonad and forzaborza this'd this
  • I disagree

    A good decade and a half spent largely in the company of rugby lads would thoroughly equip a man with tales of base human depravity, I'd have thought

    Loui_Tacceh @anal_schwarzenegger | 23 Nov '12, 16:28 | X
    PickledOeuf this'd this
  • what the wtf is going on

    Icarus-Smicarus | 23 Nov '12, 16:28 | X
  • someone answer as ASAP as possible

    gonad @Icarus-Smicarus | 23 Nov '12, 16:33 | X
    fappable this'd this
  • one year NMHU- was all "noob lol bout tree fiddy" at me then next year me and him were cheering on baluko

    cat_race @cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 16:37 | X
  • *personal pm messaged

    alcxxk @Matt_was_taken | 23 Nov '12, 16:41 | X
    Matt_was_taken, deadonthestairs, and no-class this'd this
  • when did you first start posting on DiS, champ?

    <under your first account, like)

    must be about six years ago, no?

    forzaborza @cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 16:44 | X
  • woah.

    bracket mixupage.

    forzaborza @forzaborza | 23 Nov '12, 16:45 | X
  • ha, i like that

    er, tail end 07, start of 08 if i recall

    cat_race @forzaborza | 23 Nov '12, 16:46 | X
  • oh and i entirely wasn't trying to say i haven't wasted time on forums

    just that i'm not an old timer on here. but i've put the hours in elsewhere

    cat_race @cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 16:47 | X
  • wow.

    you've posted on here longer than i have.

    madness.

    forzaborza @cat_race | 23 Nov '12, 16:48 | X
  • good

    i had a nice big break though

    cat_race @forzaborza | 23 Nov '12, 16:49 | X
  • it annoyed llb when untrue said one of his anecdotes was made up

    I don't really have any strong opinions either way, tbh

    (all reality is discursively constructed anyway rite?)

    anal_schwarzenegger @Loui_Tacceh | 23 Nov '12, 16:50 | X
  • I'll briefly return to defend myself

    I got annoyed because all the anecdotes I tell are true. Further I don't really see what I'd have to gain by doing so. I've had an eventful life. I do have a penchant for regaling as anyone on here who's met me will probably bitterly testify to.

    Anyway, you'll be hearing from my lawyer. I'll see you in Courtts

    LordLuciusBanter @anal_schwarzenegger | 23 Nov '12, 16:57 | X
  • you spelled courts wrong

    cat_race @LordLuciusBanter | 23 Nov '12, 16:58 | X
  • *high-fives anal_schwarzenegger*

    Loui_Tacceh @LordLuciusBanter | 23 Nov '12, 16:59 | X
  • bit passive aggressive, pal

    incandenza_ @forzaborza | 23 Nov '12, 17:02 | X
  • everyone's a 30 year old tory now

    shrewbie | 23 Nov '12, 17:08 | X
  • very freudian matt

    hibster @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 17:09 | X
  • yeh

    that's why i'm rarely here.

    xheathenx @shrewbie | 23 Nov '12, 17:09 | X
  • assuming you have misspelt luscious

    hibster @hibster | 23 Nov '12, 17:09 | X
  • can we get an estimated eta on that answer?

    Pharyngeal @gonad | 23 Nov '12, 17:10 | X
  • hey man I was just asking QUESTIONS

    (look everyone llb is back)

    anal_schwarzenegger @LordLuciusBanter | 23 Nov '12, 17:12 | X
  • For every The Beatles or The Rolling Stones

    There's a thousand The Pigeon Detectives.

    xheathenx | 23 Nov '12, 17:12 | X
  • diy it yourself

    fappable @Pharyngeal | 23 Nov '12, 17:13 | X
  • you bank with them too?

    Jolly nice chaps, mind you, not so great since RBS took them over. Might move everything to Hoare & co now.

    PickledOeuf @LordLuciusBanter | 23 Nov '12, 17:15 | X
  • so DiS was never particularly good then?

    anal_schwarzenegger @xheathenx | 23 Nov '12, 17:17 | X
  • I'm actually LOLing out loud

    japes @fappable | 23 Nov '12, 17:19 | X
  • you've got me figured, Dave

    I have a thing for the Union boys.

    incandenza_ @hibster | 23 Nov '12, 17:22 | X
  • ffs' sake

    Loui_Tacceh @japes | 23 Nov '12, 17:25 | X
  • or

    went on too long, the wrong ones died, got shit.

    this was a win/win on punchline setups for me.

    xheathenx @anal_schwarzenegger | 23 Nov '12, 17:27 | X
  • too TMI

    Pharyngeal @japes | 23 Nov '12, 17:29 | X
    xheathenx this'd this
  • http://youtu.be/2J6uUMeAVW8

    Cat_Race am Basement Cat?
    <Freeze Frame><Devil Eyes>
    DUN DUN DUUUUN
    <Roll Credits>

    xheathenx @andyvine | 23 Nov '12, 17:29 | X
  • It's a bit confusing to have *This isn't a joke.* at the bottom of a joke.

    j0hn | 23 Nov '12, 17:30 | X
  • *Man

    xheathenx @incandenza_ | 23 Nov '12, 17:30 | X
  • it's post-meta banter mate

    xheathenx @j0hn | 23 Nov '12, 17:33 | X
  • thank god its tgif

    fappable @Pharyngeal | 23 Nov '12, 17:33 | X
  • classic LordLuciusBanter

    MartyFuncowser | 23 Nov '12, 17:43 | X
  • always get you confused with jacques_the_biscuit

    so don't know what we might be missing

    prettyshittygangbang | 23 Nov '12, 17:45 | X
  • Not sure why Jordan cares either way, to be honest

    pal

    benni | 23 Nov '12, 17:46 | X
  • THIS SACK,S FOR YOU LORDLUCIOUSBANTER

    mug_mug_mug | 23 Nov '12, 18:00 | X
    LordLuciusBanter and svenrokk this'd this
  • Hey Buddy

    I'm still in my twenties.

    Kitchmo @shrewbie | 23 Nov '12, 18:06 | X
  • ^tory

    fappable @Kitchmo | 23 Nov '12, 18:08 | X
  • http://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/24281000/ngbbs507f51e8d325b.jpg

    MartyFuncowser @fappable | 23 Nov '12, 18:12 | X
  • ROFL-ing on the floor

    Icarus-Smicarus @fappable | 23 Nov '12, 18:13 | X
  • i get him mixed up with lucien

    and that other one.

    i get smee, meths, zxvccbm and forza mixed up all the time.

    xheathenx @prettyshittygangbang | 23 Nov '12, 18:15 | X
  • what wtf fuck
    do diy yourself
    actually actualoling out loud
    for ffs sake
    too tmi information
    thank tgif its friday

    :(

    MartyFuncowser @fappable | 23 Nov '12, 18:15 | X
  • tl; dr

    Parsefone | 23 Nov '12, 18:17 | X
  • wot about Sergio Busquets, boss?

    kinda need him to complete my all-Barca midfield.

    you might as well send him my way on a bosman if you're not gonna be about, eh?

    forzaborza | 23 Nov '12, 18:20 | X
  • It's ctainly no jj72.org is it?

    twentynine | 23 Nov '12, 18:44 | X
  • can we start calling zxvwhatever

    Citroën?

    (ZX)

    or Spectrum, obviously.

    incandenza_ @xheathenx | 23 Nov '12, 19:16 | X
  •  "a traumatic story about having pus pour out of me" 

     "I'm tired of being the butt of people's jokes" 

    :''D

    Antelope | 24 Nov '12, 07:15 | X
  • Shit posters this this^

    pichaelmarker @forzaborza | 24 Nov '12, 08:08 | X
    pichaelmarker this'd this
  • Alright, Jim Davidson

    (also a Tory)

    TheWza @cat_race | 24 Nov '12, 12:25 | X
  • I learnt everything from Josh

    LordLuciusBanter @twentynine | 24 Nov '12, 14:57 | X
  • http://drownedinsound.com/community/boards/social/4393019#r6936390

    LordLuciusBanter | 24 Nov '12, 15:01 | X
  • It's the bottom row of a keyboard

    ffs

    untrue @incandenza_ | 24 Nov '12, 15:06 | X
  • :D

    chickenbones @LordLuciusBanter | 24 Nov '12, 15:07 | X
    Antelope, Kitchmo, Epimer, Parsefone, alcxxk, joeymahone, anal_schwarzenegger, aboynamedgoo, theShipment, Royter-Hatfood, LOLpop, hip_young_gunslinger, brusma, whiterussian, citizenmeh, Icarus-Smicarus, and Antpocalypsenow this'd this
  • :D

    robluvsnic | 24 Nov '12, 15:12 | X
  • I always thought not enough people saw the punch line to this

    LordLuciusBanter @LordLuciusBanter | 11 Dec '12, 12:52 | X
  • i quite like the dogs

    Like small horses on small courses

    Yesiamaduck | 11 Dec '12, 12:55 | X
  • ah

    thewarn @LordLuciusBanter | 11 Dec '12, 12:56 | X
    hip_young_gunslinger this'd this
  • Must doth my cap to you again for the marvelous execution of the OP.

    eltham @LordLuciusBanter | 11 Dec '12, 13:00 | X
  • doff

    joeymahone @eltham | 11 Dec '12, 13:01 | X
  • he doth doff

    cat_race @joeymahone | 11 Dec '12, 13:03 | X
  • Now THAT'S a reason I can get behind. Jazz-Ballet, take note.

    Deleting now.

    TheoGB | 11 Dec '12, 13:03 | X
  • stfu up

    eltham @joeymahone | 11 Dec '12, 13:05 | X
  • timing

    LOLpop @LordLuciusBanter | 11 Dec '12, 13:05 | X
  • no you weren't

    LordLuciusBanter @Loui_Tacceh | 11 Dec '12, 13:06 | X
  • It was actually even better

    but after your PM I toned it down a bit

    LordLuciusBanter @eltham | 11 Dec '12, 13:11 | X
  • :D

    joeymahone @eltham | 11 Dec '12, 13:17 | X
  • Do you still have it?

    You can post it as a sort of director's cut.

    eltham @LordLuciusBanter | 11 Dec '12, 13:37 | X
  • Also I like how you may not have picked up on that I didn't shake

    on the wager until after you lost 5-0 at home to Swansea.

    eltham @eltham | 11 Dec '12, 13:40 | X
  • Vote LBB

    FOR REIGN OF TERROR

    moker | 11 Dec '12, 13:53 | X
    LordLuciusBanter this'd this
  • Still my finest work

    LordLuciusBanter | 24 May '13, 16:52 | X
  • :D

    eltham | 24 May '13, 17:29 | X
  • theres only 1 m in vomit

    creakyknees | 24 May '13, 17:47 | X
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