Boards
Why not to be a sound engineer
Did the sound at the Boogaloo last night. The money wasn't great (she offered me £25 at first!)
Anyway I will never do this again. Here is why:
First act sounded great.
Second act sounded great.
Third act sounded like shit. She couldn't sing a note - her mic technique was all over the place. I couldn't stand in front of the desk and ride the gain because the guitarist had put his amp in front of the desk and was complaining that when I stood there he couldn't hear himself. I had suggested he move his amp somewhere else but he decided he knew best. The bassist had a dodgy lead that kept getting louder and then quieter and blaming me for his flucutation volume. Explained to him that his lead is fucked and that he has a volume knob right next to his right hand anyway so why should I have to do it for him? This didn't improve matters.
Everyone was talking through the bands' set because they were shit and naturally the band blamed me for this. The girl singer kept scowling at me through the set and not telling what she wanted fixed. I can't read people's minds, can I? She later told me her mic was too loud, but she could have backed off a few inches and it would have been fine. Then the band swapped all their guitars over which fucked all the levels because the other guy was strumming way harder. There's no comps or limiters at the venue - how was I supposed to be prepared for this without any prior warning? I got a bollocking every time I tried to move to the desk and change something so I'd given up on them at that point. Fuck it. I was so angry with them I even stole the guitarist's beer off the piano.
The next band sounded great except I couldn't hear the acoustic guitar. When I moved towards the desk to maybe boost the highs a tickle they shooed me away "don't you dare touch that!" and all the customers cheered! My fault again.
I was supposed to finish at 10.30 but was there till after midnight. When I got paid I told Gerry he could fuck himself and his bar. To be honest I was quite pissed by that stage so that probably didn't help my temper. He's still a fucking twat though.
Anyway, the moral of the story is, never turn up to work in an Iron Maiden t-shirt.
Sorry to have a bit of a moan but I'm sure there's plenty of you who have had similar experiences.