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Inexplicable and unidentifiable trouser crotch stains
Where do they come from? What is it that they want? And why are they always whatever colour shows up best against the colour of your trousers?
I leave the house, no crotch stain. I sit down on the tube, no crotch stain. I get to work, crotch stain. DAMN YOU, CROTCH STAIN!