Boards
ode to a beautiful pregnant woman and how it all went wrong
so there i was...in work, propped on the counter flicking a barcode swatch like a warden whips his keys...all cool like....when i see the most beautiful woman...she pops out from the aisle and it appears she's about 6/7 months pregnant....
anyway..im quite content watching her stroll along, her beauty pleasantly cutting through the grey day......and she comes to pay, and she seems really nice and really friendly, and i think..'ahh...that's nice...pretty lady...pregnant...hubby at home...bun in the oven...ahh...good for her...y'know...good for her...well done pretty lady...that's nice'....she seemed nice
so she pays for her stuff and the new guy serves her. she takes her change and glides away,... but then i look to see the new guy,.. a man entirely lacking in charm,.. swish around his tongue like an irritated wind sock and arch down his eyebows into doormant pinball flippers....he giggled and jived and dribbled away....two crossed eyes and a thrusting pelvis telling exactly what he'd do if he got his dirty way......
and it made me feel a bit hollow, right. a potentially good gag with a trusted jokesmith,.. sure. Hey..i mean...im no square, i can dig....but with a man who hands collegues 9/11 conspiracy theories like a croupier deals a pack....a man who looks like an albino steve claridge...a man whoose voice runs parallel with the hum of the hot cabinet...a man who i've only met twice. Well, it soured the whole thing and brought me back with a bump.
so.
isn't work shit.
and long.
still.
the end.