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Gordon Brown is a cannibal
I don't have a link to a news story or anything like ClicheGuevara always does, but lets face it, the rumours are true: GORDON BROWN EATS PEOPLE!
Thats what really happened to Robin Cook- he didn't die in a mountaineering accident or whatever it was, Gordon had him killed, cooked and then brought to him to be devoured so that he could gain his strength.
Gordon Brown has been eating people since his university days. It was initially out of necessity due to the famine in Scotland in '68, but he came to believe it gave him mysterious powers, power too dread to even speak about, for when man crosses the boundary that divides him and beast, who knows what dark energies are unleashed...
In short, vote Conservative!