Boards
Hey there, what's that sound?
IT'S THE SOUND OF SOMEONE BREAKING IN TO YOUR HOUSE!
It wasn't as it goes, it was the sound of a dish that was precariously balanced on the draining board falling in to the sink. Possibly caused by one of the cats.
Anyhow, it made me wake with such a start that I ran downstairs in the buff with an iron in my hand, as it was the nearest thing to me that I felt I could hit an intruder with. I reckon the sight of me naked holding an iron would put the fear of Jeebus in to anyone, and that's because my naked form is quite repulsive.
If you had to grab an item to hit someone with in the dead of night in your house, what would it be? And if you were wearing pyjamas or something, would you have the power of forethought to strip before you went looking for them?