Boards
Tenuous reasons to try to get people to see a band.
"Playing live are The Dilettantes (fronted by the notorious Joel Gion, the sideburned tambourine man from The Brian Jonestown Massacre)"*
What's the worst such attempt at shameless self-promotion you've seen? "featuring Marc Almond's brother's window cleaner" maybe?
(*Apologies to any members of 'Sonic Cathedral' reading this. I would of course have used the same thing were I putting the band on. It does make it any the less funny.)