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I'm Hiring a PA.
Gender, looks and age unimportant. Salary negotiable and based upon previous experience, preferably as some kind of dacoit. Skills needed:
1) The ability to hold someone down while I hit them in sensitive areas with a variety of blunt instruments.
2) The ability to get one in the 10-hole at 300 yards with a standard PSG-1 rifle.
3) The ability to make small talk for the length of time it takes for a PC to reboot.