Boards

Bravo! Great effort all round.

Saw 1 Horrors song, but I wasn't missing the last tube for them, no matter how good their album is. I'm pretty tired. Hainault - Tooting is quite a trek but still.

and that has to be the biggest fucking 'vip area for the smallest main stage I've ever seen.

FOTL went through the motions..and Falco didn't start shit which was nice...otherwise it would ahve been his schtick..

I missed the 2 bands I wanted to see on the HC stage; Attack Vipers and Kong and the rest of hte HC stage was a bit of a disappointment apart from (surprisingly) Rolo tomassai.

Bo Ningen were good, as were Drum Eyes. Slits were fun especially when they caused havoc in the photographer/vip bit....what was hilarious was that when people stared invading that area it wasn't just security kicking them out....there were these 2 fat scenesters trying to grab people and push them back into the crowd and calling seruirty, telling them "These people aren't meant to be here!!"...shocking.

A Certain Ratio tried but the sound kept on fucking up which was a shame.

The Horrors set was a surprising highlight for me

they had a VIP area/golden circle IN FRONT of the stage?

it was a normal-sized area for sunday.

i don't think i would've done if i'd camped as there were so many total fucks there, it was like Field Day for a whole weekend at time. what is itw with these people? they just have zero regard for anyone outside their stupidly dressed haircut clique. awful.

uh, here's some more relevent commentary!

+ the lineup was about fifty times better than last year. seriously, well done offset people for it.
+ fewer stages = better. much better. the site felt less cluttered, there were fewer totally pointless bands and the whole thing felt a lot better as a result.
+ better food selection. yay! although i only ate crepes again.

- the security were a total joke. patronising, rude and seemingly unaware of what goes on at a rock festival. i ended up missing holy state because i was queuing outside for about twenty minutes on sunday as they searched wallets.
- constantly late running stages. ok, so the powercuts on sunday aren't the organisers fault (i guess?) but just about every stage was running late by that point anyway. this was also the case for saturday.

overall: it was really fun. i had a great weekend.

Highlights: Saturday, Berlin Brides showing that dance music can actually be sexy, The Chapman Family throwing a bottle into the crowd only to have it returned with interest, The Duloks' integrated tent - "We've got a black and a cripple!" Drum Eyes/Damo Suzuki, R O M A N C E being half the coolest band alive and half Little Britain, Futureheads being the only band of the weekend who looked comfortable on an outdoor stage, Factory Floor gradually clearing a full tent with the sheer bloody-mindedness of their set, The Slits chaos.

Sunday: A very angry She Keeps Bees, SCUM playing on the main stage in brilliant sunlight, Maya from Death Cigarettes screaming herself puce, Bo Ningen just absolutely astonishing and seemingly indestructible, the two drum Oi music of Methodist Centre, Bearsuit in their beaks, a fantastic (and once again sexy) set from Panico and The Horrors gradually subsiding with keyboard-knack.

Good times.

Lekiddo, Lord of The Lobsters and those who were not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O93Rmm_6WeI&feature=PlayList&p=FB0F858C803BC224&index=0&playnext=1

I particularly enjoyed Holy State, as far as I recall it was not that cramped inside the tent when I walked in. Oh, and the crepes. :)
The security were total bastards and I was constantly trying not to let them ruin it for me all weekend.

I enjoyed Wild Beasts and The XX an awful lot, The Futureheads proved what a great debut album that was- so much fun. Pulled Apart By Horses seemed great from the 5 mins I caught, Future Of The Left were a bit weird- forgive for saying this but a bit like an angry Goldie Lookin' Chain, sort of 'funny songs' and between song banter. I know they are massively not like that, just how they came across to me slightly.

Dananaakroyd were brilliant but Maps bored the pants off me. I liked Bombay Bicycle Club and also spotted Donovan from The Inbetweeners milling around. The backstage area was very crap but thats not something one should moan about.

^worst review ever...

when somebody threw a plastic bottle at one of the security walking past. They turned and watched the people surrounding its rough origin (one and all intensely watching the action on stage like never before) for a full three minutes before moving on. And relax.

Additionally, after a queue of roughly 20 minutes to enter the sit, I was asked if I was smuggling anything in on the Sunday and they didn't appreciate my (true) remark of, "Nope! Got it all in and did it all yesterday. Dude! You should have seen me..." etc. etc.

I particularly enjoyed the female bouncer's utter bemusement at the mosh for Pulled Apart By Horses.

...still, it sucked.

basically all the photographers and anyone on the guestlist all seemed to have AAA passes.

the run of Mazes, Teen Sheikhs, Cold Pumas and Male Bonding was mindblowing

highlight of the weekend was probably the amazing veggie sausage, mushroom and salad wrap i had on sunday morning

the site really really needs some bins or litter pickers or something. it was absolutely filthy both days by mid-afternoon. GET SOME RECYCLING BINS. it's so important. there were cider bottles in the forst outside the festival site :(

camped out, but was annoyed that they moved the campsite further away than it was last year and got rid of the separate entrance onto the festival site so that campers wouldn't have to walk all the way round to the main entrance. Security were a pain constantly making us empty our pockets every time we went in or out and on Sunday night they wouldn't let us come in after the Horrors set even though there was still Gold Panda to come on. We had to sneak in between the fences in the end.

Dananananaykroyd stole the show as always, Rolo Tomassi were amazing, Pulled Apart by Horses were great too. I saw FOTL (not their best performance), Let's Wrestle, Metronomy, the xx, maps, kasms enjoyed them all. I ended up missing quite a few I wanted to see just because I couldnt afford the drinks on the site so had to keep goin back to camp site to grab some beers inbetween bands.

I also had my phone pick pocketed during Metronomy I think. By a girl. Argh.

1)Factory Floor, Future of the Left, The Duloks, Experiment on a Bird, Futureheads = Great.
2) Good selection of food & drink (slush-puppy Mojitos were delish).
3)Awesome time in the dance tent saturday night.

The case against:
1)The photographers pit on saturday.
2) The cunts on the campsite sunday night who thought they were at Reading/Leeds.
3) Inferior layout to last year.
and last (but by no means least) the security. Where the fuck did they get this obnoxious bunch of boneheaded bollock-brained wankers from?! - they all appeared to have derived from a place where discretion, politeness, people skills and measured responses are looked upon with the same amount of contempt as kiddie-fiddling, rape and murder. Worst.Security.Ever.

The size of it on Saturday was slightly ridiculous but I still had a great time.

getting there at 3pm on both days :(

Certainly no need for it to be that distance. No idea why people other then photographers and security were allowed in there, the people taking photo's didn't like those other people in there either as they kept getting in the way,
security did clamp down on it though for the majority of Sunday.

I didn't think security were that bad at all actually. The having to empty all your pockets etc was very very annoying I must admit, though obviously those orders came from higher up, maybe even a condition of the license. They were doing thier job (even if it was pointless) and people seemed surprised when they would get attitude back after having a go at them. I've certainly seen a lot worst behaviour from security from pretty much every other festival I've been too.

Music Highlights: Wild Palms, Disconcerts, Kong, Damosuzuki (sp!?) The Slits, Gramme, Electricity In Our Homes, Clinic.

Horrors were very disappointing and boring.

A Certain Ratio were great though was expecting better.

Food was great though they needed a chinese stall or something!

So many posers about but generally everyone was very friendly etc.

All in all an amazing weekend.

...were nothing short of dire?

Were Gramme REALLY Good? Tell me more about Gramme! I like Gramme...

The depressing exodus of people to catch public transport meant it thinned out a bit for The Ghost of a Thousand, but they still had my favourite crowd of the weekend. The Horrors didn't have a crowdsurfing dwarf.

Only regret was not seeing Pulled Apart By Horses.

.. only nagative was they were pretty much the last band of the festival so was feeling pretty fucked by then so couldn't put my all into enjoying them. The BASS was loud!! They were really enjoying themselves, having some banter with the crowd etc. They sounded really tight and the singer was putting her all into it doing lots of dancing etc. They impressed me much more then A Certain Ratio, though maybe its unfair to compare them. Said a new album will be out soon too. Will def go see them when/if they tour.

Thanks for that. I only have that 'Pre-Release' record (I think that might be all they've done?) but it's honest to God one of my favouritest things ever.

I hope this means more stuff, and soon...

The security guy at the entrance separated and examined each banknote in my wallet, felt behind behind my belt, opened up my oystercard and then examined my set of keys...not sure what he thought he'd find on my Yale. glad I go there early on Sunday and there wasn't much of a queue.

Enjoyed the chaos of Rolo Tomassi hugely. New Shrag songs were a great improvement. ACR were fun. Dananananaykroyd were something I never want to see or hear again. The food stalls were decent with loads of options. Had a great chick pea curry.

We had to leave before The Horrors to make sure of getting the last tube. Next year they should maybe factor how many people are using public trasport. Definitely go again though.

the sound was pretty terrible on every single stage as well

I'm back. What the fuck happened to the campsite last night? It was like mad max. all you 'tent party' people - you're all cunts. ta.

Bands were good, most of the people were good. Well done security for spending 5 years checking peoples wallets, then failing to notice the massive amount of 'youths' sneaking under the fence.

Bands I saw -

The chapman family - angry boys. Some good songs. Silly singer.
Pulled apart by Horses - wowed my face clean off
Future of the Left - Needed a longer set.
Sian Alice Group - quite lovely
Metronomy - More like Monotony
Good shoes - bad songs
The Futureheads - quite northern

The Horrors - tech nightmare. Bit dull.
Clinic - super fantastic
Kong - rocked my face off
Let's wrestle - Let's not
Dananananaykroyd - fanananantastic
Mazes - super average
Maps - yes. Quite ok.
The XX - please smile. I like your songs
Tubelord - jaggy jaggy awesome

Thaanks

.. as far am I'm aware they have only ever released the 'Pre-Release' EP and one other single. They said to keep an eye on thier myspace (can't remember what it exactly was but sure its easy to find) so hopefully some news of the album and other dates soon.

what does that ,mean? I've never been so I don't know

they did well with getting the band starting and ending on time...it was the only stage that made sense from the lineup times anyway.

Devilman didn't play did they? i missed 3 bands walking around in cricles trying to find them

You're no friend of mine Kiddle...

Well ok, you can be my friend again I've decided. Glad Clinic were good. STILL never seen them live despite owning 4 or 5 of their albums...

should be like this

Overall, Offset was an excellent weekend! Being at the "older" end of the festival going contingent, Offset gave me a massive choice of new, up and coming plus more "established" bands to duck in and out of.

With Reading, V, Glasto et al just becoming massive corporate bashes designed to extract as much money from punters as possible, Offset is a real breath of fresh air. Due to illness, I had 2 spare weekend tickets, and the box office helped me sell them!

The security were "zealous", and I had my wallet strip searched as well, but equally I don't want my weekend ruined by f*ckwits.

I think Sunday suffered towards the end of the day as people had to travel back - Clinic played a superb "best of" set - but I went home both days with a massive smile.

Roll on Offset 2010!!!!!!

my highlights were:
Devil Sold His Soul
Furuteheads
Pulled Appart By Horses
Bearsuit
Kong
Tubelord
Sian Alice Group
Dananananaykroyd
Gold Panda
and sneaking a can of beer in on sunday evening, not because i wanted to drink it, which i did, but because i beat them. IN YOUR FACE SECURITY FACES!

Booo-locks.

both days...

I had a manbag stuffed and everything...

people before and after were patted down and pockets turned out yet I was just told to move on!!

I don't think I looked cool enough to be carrying contraband :(

I thought they were going to get the rubber gloves out at one point, then set the dogs on me as a warning to the others.

they were good at that.

and i forgot my timetable. I got confused as to what was going on :(

and repeat.....for the best part of 100 increasingly tedious hours.

Die...party.

...with the big ball was hilarious. Some guy had clearly had enough so took to throwing it onto the stage, only for it to be thrown back about 8 times. I think he got a fag and burst it though?

although this was not the case for anyone else I knew, I also heard a story about a girl who's tampons were thrown all over the floor.

On Sunday, they looked at my carrier bag and asked what was in it. I said 'a cardigan'. They let me straight through.

Were totally drowned out by neighbouring stages.

in gothy clothes meandering about with litter pickers looking a bit bored.
But yes, not great in an actual forest.

As said above, there were some pickers. I saw someone pick up one cup, then walk past tonnes of rubbish. Good work.

why were they being so uptight? in one of the tents i saw a security guard run over to a group of people in the middle of a set to knock a bottle out of their hand, there's no need for them to be so aggro.

i also thought the main stage wasn't very well run - bands like future of the left and danananaykroyd should have had much longer sets, and bombay bicycle club clearly suffered from their rushed soundcheck. from my perspective, it would make much more sense to move some of the earlier bands to a different stage later on, and then you have more time to get things right for the bands people really want to see.

apart from that, i enjoyed my first time at offset, saw some awesome music (gold panda, wild beasts and tubelord to name but a few), and for £45 it's a bloody bargain.

Bo Ningen's guitar-in-mouth heroics were nothing short of amazing. Sian Alice Group sounded beautiful. Kap Bambino great. Loads loads more great stuff like The Nuns (a Monks tribute band!), Male Bonding, whoever it was that replaced John and Jehn (actually can someone tell me who they were? Two piece on the main stage at about 1.30 yesterday), Dananananaykroyd (who I failed to love after seeing directly post-Mae Shi last time... they were GREAT this time though, unrivalled levels of effort and fun) and Tubelord. They were all properly brilliant. Seemed like every artist truly cared, playing to impress. Maybe 'cause of the amount of effort everyone put into their outfits, I can't tell. The Horrors were on fine form too, what's this "dull" thing about hmm?

The Futureheads didn't do it for me though. They were playing at breakneck speed and it seems to have tired. KASMs were trite, The Slits were indulgent, Bombay Bicycle Club's singer sounds like he's about to have an asthma attack every time he opens his mouth and... actually no that's it. Let's Wrestle suck.

for the kids nowadays? I'm glad this is seen as strange as I felt left out.

At other times I was vastly annoyed. It was nice with the smaller bands not to have time to get fed up of anything and just keep moving onto the next thing, but giving some of the bigger bands thirty five minute slots was bloody rubbish.

Also on sunday morning I had some girl come and sit with me and my friend telling me about how she wasnt a slag but fucked loads of boys at festivals. Nice. I gave her a beer so that she'd leave me alone.

So sordid!

I don't often say 'go away, you're annoying me'. I felt liberated.

were the highlights of the festival for me, I'd never heard Clinic beforehand and thought they were fucking brilliant! Best set I've seen this year. Far too many elitist and snobby looking cliches walking around for my liking, I was being looked at like a piece of scum for just wearing a football shirt.

Met a load of sound people, and a couple tossers. The rich boy/girl tent shaking 'riot' on the last night was pretty shit, surprised it garnered the polices attention.

The helicopter blinding me in my tent got pretty tedious. I really tried to get mind numbingly drunk so I didnt have to hear any of that shit, but it just wasn't happening.

i wish i knew who this was as well.

also re kap bambino - i walked in and they'd already started. ended up at the front and about two minutes later the singer was rolling around at my feet. brilliant stuff :D

If the security were such wankers....why didn't they stop all of the kids misbehaving on the last night?

What was their prerogative? To stop people drinking in the tents?

but by the evening, they were invisible, i saw people opening holes in the fence all over the place.

had a really good time, not sure what was going on in the campsite on the last night, saw a port-a-loo had been tipped over and a bit of fence knocked down in the morning and some guy nearly fell on my tent.

Did Devil M an play? (Dj scotch egg project)...they weren't in the nukethemall tent.

Also, did anyone catch CG and Tim from Cementimental anti chillout sessions?

They were completely useless.

John & Jehn stayed in the studio in France or something...

I watched my friend scream into a microphone that wasn't working.

So I didn't hallucinate that...

if I didn't come back with a plug: http://musosguide.com/offset-festival-sunday-hainault-country-park/7339

the 'nirvana song' was me invading the stage singing THE VASELINES lulzz shes saidd shed take me anywheree

the best shit i saw was NO NINGEN, too good. PANICO also was good, im so glad i got to see them and they were nice. drum eyes and damo suzuki were highlits too. the fun was at pull apart danana male bonding and kap bambino. basically all the good gigs were there ones with ugly crowds. the horrors where shit ofcourse

I went out to the car for a bag of crisps (wotsits, there was no oneI wanted to see on...) and I was researched fully on re-entry.

I felt the whole event was great, with a strong variety of music and styles. All went according to plan so it seems, but did anyone think there was shit loads of litter when nearly everyone had a 'Crew' t shirt on? I know not all Crew will be litterpickers, but I must have seen 4 of them all weekend.....

I enjoyed the XX (agree with the post above about the wish for them to SMILE) plus Wild Beasts were exceptional.
Also-
Hook and the Twin (replaced John and Jehn)
Artefacts for Space Travel
Kong
London Blackmarket

I felt sorry for the Horrors...