Boards

It's the judder and the clunk and the momentary second where they look like they're being lobotomised, and it gets me every single time.

in Paris.

There was this guy in Manchester with gold teeth lurching about the top deck rapping inches away from faces about how the loooooord was gonna come and decapitate all the people on the bus. Actually I dunno if that would fit into the 'best' but it was scary enough.

Also in Manchester the drivers of UK North buses were funny. Watching the Champyons League on TV while driving the bus, stopping and getting off a bus full of people on the curry mile to order a takeaway, that sort of thing.

Someone with a bible lectured me on the evils of alcohol and spat all over me in the process on the last metro once too. That was good. He was well into it. "BANISH IT FROM YOUR LIFE SARRRR!" into it. Smile and nod, smile and nod

this hippy tramp dude sat next to hot business woman and was litterally drooling towards her clevage, when she got up him rubbed his hand on the seat, sniffed it went 'arrrrrrrrrrhhhh' and smiled...

and there was a girl running to catch it, and the driver did that thing that cunty bus drivers do where they drive off just as you get to the door even when they've obviously seen you. Except a ticket inspector at another stop saw him, stepped into the road in front of the bus to make him stop, and shouted at him and made him let the girl on.

2. Group of kids missing the bus and chasing it all the way to the next stop, getting a round of applause when they got on.

about 5 years ago.

a guy dressed as Elvis fall off his seat, roll down the ailse and then 'saturday night fever' dance his way off the bus...
It was a pretty smooth moment for all Elvis impersonators

I once saw an alcoholic woman get on, go to the back of the bus, have a shit, then get off.

:')

a little horrible shit about 17, terrorising the other passengers upstairs on a bus in Liverpool, slashing the seats, spitting out of the window at people, taking the piss out of people too scared to say anything to him etc etc. One bloke about 50 finally had enough and told him to sit down and behave, "what are you gonna do about it you fuckin old twat" or something like that he responded; a few seconds later it became apparent that what he was 'gonna do about it' was punch the little prick in the side of the head so hard that his head bounced off the window. He slumped silently for a minute with his bottom lip trembling, tears in his eyes, before quietly delivering the killer line-

"that dig was pure feeble."

The rest of the passengers went from sitting in fear of him to brazenly pissing themselves laughing at him in seconds- he got off the bus.

paris metro

selling chicks to strangers

chewing tobacco

spitting on the floor

even had the striped shirt god damn

He did tricks for us all, mostly classic shit like the coin behind the ear, various hankerchief tricks. Afterwards he fielded questions from the “audience” and someone asked what the best part of being a magician was he said – and I quote – “One time, I was in Blackpool and after the show a girl came up to me, only 5 or 6. And she asked me if the magic was real. So I knelt down, put my hand on her heat and told that as long as she believed in her heart and her mind that it was real, magic would always be real”.
Wasn’t a dry eye on the 181.

Second plance goes to this one time I was on a bus in a traffic jam and some woman with a baby in toe took the opportunity to obviously chat me up. To put this in perspective, I was in Year 8.

;)

such as the massive paper fight we had on the way back from college one day

and the time my mate fell off when we went round a corner really fast

but strangely, something happenedd this evening about 10 minutes after i'd just left the house having just started this thread, a woman comes up to me while i wait for the tube and has a teddy in her hand and then introduces the teddy to me and a bemused couple sitting near us, telling us that he had been on lots of adventures around the world and a book was coming out about him and we should look at the website which was www.bearsac.com

honestly go on it and read all about Bearsac it's genuinely cool, he once appeared on the tweenies !

and to quote the website

"He has also been on Big Brothers Little Brother twice, Big Brother Eviction twice, Ready Steady Cook in the audience and Sky Sports News."

trying to pull an obscenely fat girl, going as far as putting his hand up her skirt to rub her thigh
i think she enjoyed t