The Daily Mirror has reported that Madonna - about to play a few UK shows - demands a fresh toilet seat at every concert she plays on her Confessions tour. Hence that headline. For which we again apologise...Madonna, 47, is apparently paranoid about germs, which we all know lurk in your bog. Unless you use motherfudging Toilet Duck, of course, which we do. Other brands of toilet cleaner are available.
Someone with a big mouth and empty pocket told the aforementioned 'paper: "The seat has to be inspected by her people, then installed - with an unbroken seal - by plumbers before every gig."
The singer's spokesperson in the US, Liz Rosenburg, defended Madonna's actions: "Who wouldn't want a new toilet seat wherever they go?" she said.
DiS has been known to carry toilet seats into the Astoria from time to time, that much is true. But that's only so we can spin 'em about our waists, hula-hoop style. Fresh.
Madonna plays in Cardiff on Sunday (July 30), and then at some other places. If you've not got tickets, you're not going sunbeam.