Hello.

My name is Colin Roberts and I'd like to share a story with you.

This morning, travelling into work via my usual route (Circle line from Kings Cross -> Paddington), my journey was abruptly halted at Edgware Road. Upon further investigation, I was to find that the train radios on the Wimbledon branch of the District line (the tech and traction of which also runs the west side of the Circle line) were faulty.

Knowing that the DiSopolis was a mere ten minute walk from Edgware Road tube, I hopped out of the station and skipped down the road.

At this point, my mobile telephone rang (it was my Mother) and I duly answered. It was just then I realised that I was juggling my laptop bag, The Guardian, my wallet and of course, my mobile telephone.

As you can imagine, my walk continued, slightly clumsily and almost involving a head on collision with the number 23 bus.

However, as I neared my destination, passing Starbucks and Costa, I realised my trousers were beginning to dislodge, due to the weight I have lost recently. I semi-hobbled my way to try and keep them on, but it was in fact hopeless.

Approximately 15 seconds later, my underwear was exposed for all of W2 to see.

Yes, I should have been wearing a belt. Yes, I should have been carrying less.

I know these things now, and for anyone who saw, I am truly, truly sorry.