Ok, I apologise for the length of this post but we're having a competition at work and I know nothing about football. Here are the rules (as you can see, it's all taken quite seriously on my team), top goal scorers anyone?

Okay, punters, roll up, roll, here's your fully patented Team B Golden Boot Competition. This aims to combine the thrill of winning CASH with the element of SKILL but not excluding a splash of DUMB LUCK. Here's how it works:

1) You pick a player who you think is going to be the Golden Boot winner from the 2006 World Cup. Recent history suggests it is best to pick someone who is a member of a squad who has qualified for the World Cup, but, frankly, I'll take bets for your mother if you put up the necessary collateral.

2) You're feeling wild and crazy - it's Friday, it's hot and the World Cup is upon us. What the heck, you've got a good feeling for Andriy Shevchenko AND Dwight Yorke. Go on - knock yourself out - pick BOTH of them. But you'll need £1 for each.

3) Send me your names by 2pm Friday. At this stage we'll call it a preliminary bid. Shortly after 2pm, I'll circulate a list of bids for you to make any changes to and then I'll need confirmation of your decisions by 3pm. Then I'll collect a quid for each player you'd like to bet on by 3pm. No discounts for Owen Hargreaves.

4) Sounds a bit complicated - why would you want to change your bid? Well, here's possibly why: THE PAYOUT RULES

i) Simply put, the total pot will be divided evenly between those team members who have picked the winning player. Thus if Chrissy, Steve and Simon all put £1 on Ronaldo, who storms through to score 56 goals, then the total pot is split three ways. The fact that Steve may have spent £34 on 33 other players is neither here nor there other than to swell the total coffers.

ii) In the above example, if we all pick Ronaldo then the pot is divided 6 ways (obviously), so when picking your man/men, you will get a better reward if you have a hunch about Milan Baros, then chances are you will win the whole pot, should Mr Baros bang in 57 goals or more. On the other hand, if you are truly convinced that, no matter the risk of sharing, Ronaldo is your man, then just put a squid on him. In the business we call this SKILL AND JUDGEMENT, and it stops us from contravening the 1976 Lotteries and Gaming Act.

iii) Obviously, the more players you back, not only the better your chances of winning, but the greater the pot. If we all bet freely and heavily, overall winnings will be higher (but only for the winner[s] of course!)

iv) But what happens if no-one picks the winner? Then the pot is put aside for the next Team Night Out, should it contain more than £10. In the event of the pot containing less than this, then I suggest a round of team ice creams may be a more appropriate use of lolly (ho ho).

v) In the event of the Golden Boot being shared, again the pot will be divided by whoever has a "share" in either/any of the winning players

vi) The judges decision is final. No sympathy payments will be paid in the event of refs and linesmen making dodgy decisions.

REMEMBER: Last year the winner was a German who banged in 4 against Saudi Arabia in the first round. Gary Lineker won it in 1986, despite England being knocked out in the 1/4 finals. Paolo Rossi won it in 1982, despite not scoring until the 1/4 finals. Look at who is playing whom - the golden boot winner needn't come from the winning team, which is what makes it intriguing.