So as usual today I get on the central line tube to work. As I get on the train there is a spare seat, half taken up by some woman's bag full of squash raquets. I walk up to the seat and gesture towards her bag - which she ignores - so I sit down and move her bag over a bit towards her seat.

She then elbows me hard in the ribs, and calls me a fucking cunt - to which I can't help but burst out laughing. The three people sitting opposite also start laughing. Then I read my paper and try and ignore her muttering about what a wanker I am for the whole journey.

Ho hum.