I have this day purchased a pair of light, baggy linen trousers so there will be less chance of me having to flas my legs at you.

They even have a drawstring at the front. If I bought a Hoxton-esque stripey top I could probably audtion for South Pacific. We are actually talking just one rung above chinos here in terms of unfashionable nightmare.

I also bought a new black suit from Next so that'll be only one rung up from Primark, I guess. I'll have to look out for naked flames when I'm in work, in case I go up like a torch...