I've lost my old CV and need to write a new one. I've never actually written my own CV's, I usually get someone else to do it - butler's, parents, friends etc.

However, I need to write one sharpish as I am running out of money and have to work. Any do's and don'ts? Is length an issue? (ho ho) Should I insert swear words for emphasis? shud i rite it in txt spk? Should I include the obligatory "good team player, but able to work on own initiative" bollocks?

Any suggestions welcomed

I love you all