I love this film.

Brian Fantana: That was one crazy party. I am hung over.
Champ Kind: I woke up on the floor of some Japanesse family's living room, and they would NOT stop screaming!
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.

Ron Burgundy: [to dog] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

Brian Fantana: Panda Watch! The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off.

Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch!
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

Ron Burgundy: You're a real hooker. I'm gonna slap you in public.

Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, back of the head.

Brick Tamland: Where'd you get those clothes from, the... toilet store?