yea ok its me pisshead so you all think. i was just thinking. my friend Jamieis sucking off some guy next to me and i'm sitting here thinking why what the fuck? My job deals with peaople who are so alone and yet this human condition is not realised. We all hide behind our social lifes of 'yea so are you going to this tonight?' only so we don't expose ourselves to the lonelieness that we endevour. I am pissed and actually I took some drugs tonight which is not what often I do as I am some kind of prescribed manic depressvive. I always wondered why such an amazing band as The Smiths split up. It's love love fucks you up ewhatever happens. You have a one night stand but a strand of you goes away with that full condom. I am so bollocksed but I mis DIS. I'm not used to sch a bunch of people accepting me for being what I am. I sit on the rooftop everyday and wonder why I exiset, why of us exist. iM SAYING THIS WHILE MY BERST MATE SUCK OFF SOME GUY WHILST LISTWENING TO mADONNOS.

I dont indulge in self pity but id like to say to all of you whilst i have internet opportunity: you have two choices, live and suffer or die and it all be gone. is it such a relife to end it all and die or shall we carry on suffering? i'm sorry i'm bolllocked but i almost feel like im talking to someone god knows i need it.

on the subject of god ive always been brought up on orginased relgion but i wish i could feel something, then maybe i wouldnt feel so fucked up about feeling nothing.

goodbye DIS you feel like a foster family.