This is beyond belief. We have all encountered the infrequent male shopper who wanders around the aisles with a list asking repeatedly for assistance from the staff but today I discovered an even more pathetic example of shopper ignorance.

After having squeezed some garlic bulbs and picked up some hummus I strode toward the posh bread section: Somerfield has a resonably good selection of nice home-made breads. On arrival I spotted a guy about my age squatting in front of the brown cobs. My immediate reaction was to assume he was dithering pointlessly about which to buy. Then, I spied a mobile phone pressed to his ear and I changed my assumption to he was having a conversation on the phone without electing to move away from the bread first to allow other non-distracted shoppers access. However, as I neared the bread I overheard snatches of conversation and, astonishingly, he was engaged in a conversation, presumably with his partner, about which bread to buy. This involved a description of each loaf of bread and its price. I was flabberghasted and I staggered momentarily. Fortunately, for me and for him, there was sufficient access for me to grab the bread I was aiming for without contact. I left the bread area in a state of bewilderment.

Later, I arrived at the till behind the said weirdo. His shopping included some posh fruit, some posh cream stuff and some posh vegetable, and, amazingly, he had managed to select some bread. Bizarrely, there was also a bumber huge pack of weetabix which seemed out of place with the tone of the rest of the items.

What's next? Idiots in supermarkets with camera video phones and an instructor in a remote location directing them around the aisles.

Dear oh dear.

My hummus is delicious.