From all the BEST comedies.

1) 'Its a tail!'
'Zombies don't have tails.'

2) 'This is a paedophile... dressed as a school.'

3) 'Trust, encouragement, reward, loyalty... satisfaction.'

4)'What have I always taught you is the most important thing?'
'Breakfast?'

5) 'Piss flaps. Farting babies. Sex. Look how funny I am, pretending to be working class, by playing with all the hilarious cliches. Get me a pint, you fooking scally.'

CLUE: Number 5 maybe made up, but it probably has been said. Its got Anthony from the Royal Family in. Wut.