This is a difficult one. Here's why:

Independent: Outragiously leftwing. Makings sweeping lefty statements for the hell of it.

Telegraph: Basically as right wing as the Independent is left.

Guardian: Overly smug and you always feel a bit of a media shithead when buying it

The Sun: Does exactly what it says on the tin. Tits, sport and amusing stories. Until it spouts pro-war reactionary nonsene then I don't wanna go near it.

FT: The what?

The Express / Mail: HANG EVERYONE! Young people are all drug taking murderers! No thanks.

Mirror/Star: Oh course not.

So what are you meant to read? The Times is Ok, but it's a bit boring. The writing is too small and there's no big pictures dammit.

Bring back TODAY. That's what I say.