how the fuck do i get over this cold?

it started about 8.03am this morning. now i'm at work. i'm coughing. i'm sneezing. i'm hock-ing. i'm wheezing. i'm aching. i'm breaking. i got a "temperature" to ice the cold cake. my throat seems to have swelled like a canon ball. i think my back hurts. reddish eyes. anyone have any remedies for colds? i'm downing echinacia (?) but should probably stop smoking. *uggh*