Right, it's long been known that Steve Bruce wrote a few books and we've all had a laugh at that fact. Someone has actually managed to track one down for a review though and it sounds incredible.

Genuine passage:

"The Jag was in its usual place, outside the club reception. It’s an XJ8, 3.2, sports version, V Reg. As I drove fast to the infirmary, following the ambulance as it cut a swathe through the traffic I wasn’t thinking of power assisted steering and speed sensitive variable ratios, I was considering how life can be sweet, one minute and suddenly, without warning, we are dead. Nobody can foretell the place and hour of their death, which is perhaps as well. The important thing is to make the best of life while we can."

Review here: http://thesetpieces.com/features/sweeper-steve-bruce-review/