Good morning [redacted],

How are you today? Amazing achievement to reach the semi-final of Countdown Champions of Champions. Are you a recognised genius at Mensa? Do you ingest the Oxford English Dictionary every day? Are you brilliant at Scrabble? Good luck with the journalism course.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is [redacted] and my address is: [redacted]

I am 53, single, only had two girlfriends in my life, looking for a long-term relationship / marriage. I love long walks, the music of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, the paintings of Vincent van Gogh and the novels of Sebastian Faulks.

Would you like to link up for a drink next week? Do you believe in sex on a first date? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you do, Jen! Would love to get inside your panties and delve into the hidden treasures concealed within! Would you like to see what I keep inside my boxers?

If you're interested, Jen, please do not reply to this message. Instead, please call or text me on [redacted], or email me at [redacted]. Just tell me the time and place and I'll be there!

[redacted] x

Fortunately this went into a filtered inbox a month ago so I've only just seen it, in which time his account has been deactivated. Assumed it was a prank, but Googled him and he is an actual real person. Hmm, interesting...