2016 gets underway with a DiS support-tactic cracker in the Ryman Premier, as likeable hippieoballers and current leaders Dulwich Hamlet battle out a promotion 6 pointer away to homely carrot crunchers Tonbridge Angels. The Angels have faltered of late, so bet your house on an away win for guaranteed spondulix!!! £££

Elsewhere, high-flying Essex dogs Billericay attempt to hoofball fellow play-off placed Leiston into submission, Poole Town probably continue to run away with the Southern Premier, and the Northern Premier continues to be propped up by the hilariously named Ramsbottom, hahaha.

Oilball matches to pretend to watch include Thumb In A Suit's potential SWANSong in Wales, Leicester cementing their lovable overachiever status by beating spendthrift villains Bourn£mouth, and some wigs probably fall off.

This year's weekend football threads can only get better! 🎶