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NFL Week 14 Thread: Heeeeeeere's Johnny! Edition
Like a butterfly in the rain, the NFL season is a fleeting thing, and our time together quickly grows short. But still, there's games left to play and playoff spots left to fight for, so let's get to it!
TONIGHT:
Minnesota at Arizona
So-called NFC North contenders the Vikings gear up to take on what has turned out to be a powerhouse in the Cardinals. Adrian "Rough Justice" Peterson is the whole of the Vike's offence, so they could get something going there, and really, they have to, because Teddy "Oh crap, he's not a franchise QB is he?" Bridgewater ain't going throw on these guys.
Seahawks at Baltimore
I know no-one really liked the Ravens, but this just seems like too much karma, you know? The Seahawks are rolling now, and this will put them one step closer to the playoffs and kill a host of pretenders' seasons in the process. The pricks.
Atlanta at Carolina
Received wisdom is that the Panthers have to stumble at some point, but with Matty Ice on a downward spiral, it might not be this week. On the plus side, watching newly-minted Falcons supporter incandenza go from pumped up fanboy to bruised victim has been quite the sight.
Washington at Chicago
Bit of a coin flip here, but the Skins somehow have something to play for in the NFC Least, while the Bears... well, who knows? Cutler gonna Cutler, for ever and ever and ever and ever.
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
Game of the week? The Ginger Slinger and his stripy men are hot stuff, but so are Big Ben and Co. Throw in some division rivalry and that, and this could be real interesting.
San Francisco at Cleveland
AKA the Battle of the Draft Bust QBs with something left to prove and two teams with nothing to play for except sweet, sweet pride.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville
Bortles and the Allens might have something, but this team doesn't know how to win. The Colts are a mess, but they can win, and probably will, even if this division is all over the shop.
San Diego at Kansas City
What became of the Chargers? A million injuries didn't help, but what a sad season it's been for them, especially after smashing the Lions (great work guys!) in the opener. Kansas (who also coincidentally smashed the Lions) are in form despite missing key players, and Smith has never been safer. You go Smithy! Prove to everyone you deserved to be drafted before Rodgers!
Tennessee at New York Jets
I like Mariota. But I also like Fitzpatrick. The Titans need more pieces if they're going to compete, but the Jets can always Jet the bed.
Buffalo at Philadelphia
Watch as LeSean McCoy spits in Chip Kelly's face! Rex Ryan gurns everywhere! Ryan Matthews ruins my fantasy season!
Detroit at St Louis
The Nick Fairly Bowl! Apparently he's not fat anymore. Cower with horror as he sacks Stafford 12 times.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay
What a steaming tire fire the Saints are - how close are they to pressing the reset button and jettisoning Brees like a Vietnam vet? Lovie Smith is thanking his lucky stars that Jamesis has singlehandedly saved his job, and this game could set them up for a while to come.
Oakland at Denver
Two young quarterbacks who could shape the future of their franchises square off here, but still... BRING BACK PEYTON.
Dallas at Green Bay
Doesn't matter how many problems the Pack has, they're going break the Cowboys here.
New England at Houston
A shame we probably won't get Watt vs Gronk, but watching JJ feast on the withered bones of Tom Brady could still be quite entertaining. Visions of Hoyer crying at Belichick too.
New York Giants at Miami
Who cares.