1. it was on last night. Nothing new on there, just blokes chatting in a pub. Lots of the C word flying around though.

MEN are you scared your ladies are going to see this and stop you going to the pub to talk about tits and arse

2. OMG PITTA CHIPS. These are like the new fashionable crisp and they're fucking brilliant. This is what I will be talking about in the pub tonight.

3. I need to buy a new iron cause some idiot head melted their skirt on it. That idiot head was me.