Magnolia Lane.... Amen Corner.... Rae's Creek.... Tiger on the prowl.... Nicklaus, Palmer and Player.... McIlroy's Grand Slam.... Ryany Giggsy Wiggsy, isn't it.... marvellous.

For the only time this year, let's talk golf. We can expect 24 hour blanket coverage of Tiger from the American coverage, but really he hasn't got a hope in hell this year, his long, slow decline to retirement continues. Cue him suddenly firing up the old magic all of a sudden.

When the commentators finally get tired of Tiger, or more likely when he's gone home after the second round, talk will probably move on to Rory's potential Grand Slam, which he only needs the Masters to complete. His record's pretty mediocre round Augusta though, not that the bookies think that means much. 6/1 is your absolute limit.

My money's on Spieth and Dustin Johnson, with a solid £1 e/w on Charley Hoffman because I like an outsider to follow.

Predictions, bets real or imaginary, claims people only pretend to like golf/the Masters etc and other stuff below, please.