A bit of karma at Stamford Bridge as the racists are brought back down to earth with a bang against apparent Peoples Champions Burnley. The home side appeal for every 50/50 under the sun and are apparently on the wrong end of a referees and media agenda. Maureen goes on the tellybox the following morning and launches into a pretty astonishing half-hour-long drunken rant about everything from people tapping his phone to the possible existence of lizardmen.

City whallop Newcastle as Edin Dzeko, after six months on holiday, sharply realises the presence of Big Wilf may mean he gets a few more bench splinters in his aris. Definitely the worst side we've played this season, so bad that we played the final half-hour at walking pace to preserve our energy for our midweek mauling by Bartha. Shame we couldn't put in this sort of performance before the title race was done and dusted.

Thumb in a Suit's amazing black leather folder of brilliant tactics malfunctions, meaning his side look like a bunch of strangers away at Swansea and resort to lumping it up to Fellaini all afternoon.

At St. Marys the ref has an absolute mare, missing four first half penalties for the hosts, pretty much all blatant, and a possible red card for Mignolet as Liverpool become new favourites for 3rd.

A new gilet and an absolutely huge rucksack can't save Headmaster Tim's Villa from capitulating at home against Stoke.

Yet more dodgy officiating at Selhurst, as Arsenal score two very dubious goals indeed.

Lucien has a bit of a breakdown after Wham bottle it late at the Lane.

Something about Joey Barton slapping cocks.

AOB?