Just starting this to point out the incredible feats a post-coital Carlton is capable of according to the Standard...

"Romelu Lukaku slotted home from close range to edge Everton ahead, but substitute Carlton Cole needed just 100 seconds after coming to notch West Ham's equaliser and the game went to penalties."

http://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/you-cant-say-the-fa-cup-has-died-after-that--west-ham-boss-sam-allardyce-says-thrilling-shootout-win-had-everything-9976458.html

Might have some observations on Michael Owen's commentary for you later too. Cheers.