1 If you're surname is a trade then you should have to do that trade - If you're a Cooper, make some fucking barrels and stop sitting in an office.

2 If you have any superfluous letters in your forename, deviating from the standard spelling of the name, then the person who's having to write/type your name should be able to call your parents pricks, with no comeback.

3 I'm bored with this.