I'll kick this off.

Why can't oranges be easier to get into? They hurt my fingers to peel, are still covered in horrible pith and if you cut them up they're too dribbly.

And before you say it's me who's the twat and not the oranges, let me just say 'fuck off, you're wrong'. Especially you balonz.

Don't get me started on tsunamis and Brazilian walking spiders. God's got a lot to answer for and this thread is where he starts paying.