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Every one has secrets, right?
Like, the proper weird ones that torment your brain because only you and no one else knows about it. Could be something weird/ embarrassing that you've done and you know you can't tell a soul because it's just too much to go into detail about or you're just plain ashamed/ confused by the whole preceding incident.
And they sit there in your brain and torment you and you can't stop thinking about it and you hate it.