Watched it last night in an empty cinema and – despite the critical panning – I thought it was absurd, flawed but also kinda brilliant film-making.

Some fun things you might enjoy about the film Noah:
- Russell Crowe running around shouting “Ham!” a lot. Thought this would stop being funny after a while. It didn’t.
- Ray Winstone ruining every scene he’s in like a Big Fahking Cockernee Distraction-Magnet Sponsored by Bet365 Bet In Play Naaahw.
- The supporting casts of Jumanji and Transformers getting a rare opportunity to show their range.
- The chance to read lots of Americans moaning about the film’s “historical inaccuracies” online afterwards.