Early fixture on Saturday is City Southampton. Idk, tbf, whine damp-panted undersexed Hulme-domiciled lumps, quiveringly clutching their Sky subscriptions. Fuck em, I say: We'll win 3-1. Later Fulham stave off auto-relegation by drawing with Villa and Chelsea beat Stoke by a single goal. We won't win the title and it's definitely not my fault, says a mumbly Iberian tramp. Wigan play Leeds. Nestor mysteriously says nothing all day, except briefly when Newcastle score.

Then! On Sunday! Everton are narrowly beaten by Arsenal. Will it re-open a 4 way title race? No! Because Liverpool beat Big Sam 1-4, despite a Downing-assisted Carroll goal.

AOB?