Arsenal's six month capture of FM favourite Kim Kallstrom sets the tone of an underwhelming transfer deadline day. Palace do some good business, Swansea do some utterly baffling. Big Sam decides having back-up left backs is overrated. City briefly threaten to whirl everybody into excitement with 2-for-1 swap with Benfica, but decide not to on account of not being quite as vulgar as some.

Attention turns back to the Premier League, a more-pessimistic-than-usual Newcastle facing their more-optimistic-than-usual regional neighbours in little under an hour. Then a lot of midtable sides butt heads. Arse try to get the better of Palace, regulation three points for "we didn't want any stinking Ukrainians over here anyway" Liverpool on Sunday. Juve versus Inter upon that day also.

AOB? Well sorry pal, you'll have to wait until the summer.