What a load of absolute bollocks. Had an argument with my housemate last night after I advised him he’d be better off taking paracetamol but he told me that Lemsip was better for alleviating symptoms. The only thing it can alleviate is a slight thirst, and even that’s debatable. Choking down sickly, weak lemon drink like it’s some fucking invigorating cure-all elixir from a Gambian witch doctor – it comes in paper sachets for fucks sake. Adding sugar to it like it’s the tea or coffee of the Wintery cretin. How do you like you Lemsip? Two lumps please. Get fucked. And the flavours as well, Lemon or Blackcurrant. It couldn’t scream Fisher Price more loudly if it tried.

Should’ve told him to take a couple of paracetamol and wash them down with a glass of Robinsons.

I know, tl;dr but consider my spleen vented.

Good Monday.