the absolute worst.

Look maaaan, you aint the first person to have a kid. Its a big deal to you and your family, but to everyone else, it means little or nothing.

Was at a party the other night and all some chap could talk about was hus kid. Sleep patterns, teething, favourite food etc.

He even puleed out his iphone and made me flick through every single picture of this little brat.

'Here he is with a colander on his head'
'Here he is in a puddle'

Went through my yearly 'aaaaah' quota in about twenty minutes.

Sorry man...firstly, your kid is quite ugly with an oversized cranium and secondly, this is really boring. They're talking about pussy licking over there. I'm gonna go now. Oh, go on then, lets see that 54 photo series of your son making his first butterfly cakes.

Kill me now.

And kill parents who think the average joe has more than a fleeting interest in your offspring.

Yeah