Some moody european football happened last night but more importantly Harry Redknapp and his advisors thought a twitter Q&A might be a useful exercise. Some highlights:

#AskHarry maths- You buy peter crouch 3 times+sell him 4 times what is the volume discount backhander factor from his agent

What's it like being the only man to crack under the pressure of being England manager without actually getting the job? #AskHarry

#AskHarry How hard is it to tell where your face ends and your bollocks begin?

#AskHarry Did you think HMRC stood for Harry's Monaco Retirement Chest?

#AskHarry How close are you to punching the bloke who came up with this idea?

On a scale of Darren Bent to Marcus Bent, just *how* bent was the Christopher Samba deal?

#AskHarry when you were thinking about swapping Bale plus £15mil for Stewart Downing, how much heroin had you consumed and how quickly?

My dog is thinking of opening a bank account any suggestions on the best one to use? #AskHarry

#AskHarry just to clear things up, can you use a mobile phone? Pretty sure under oath you said you couldn't, yet how did Gerrard text you ?

Have you even ran your car battery out by winding down your window all the time for a chat? #AskHarry

#AskHarry does the Monaco bank account your dog uses accept Cats? I'd like to set up a savings account for one

#AskHarry how was did it feel being filmed tapping up Andy Todd

When u look in the mirror, do u just see a melted welly staring back?

How does it feel to be the biggest c*** in football? At least you still have your looks though.... #AskHarry

how can you dodge paying tax but not a ball thrown by a fan? #AskHarry

If I earn £500, and my friend Dave earns £300, how much tax can we avoid paying? #AskHarry

#AskHarry when you are not heartlessly ripping the soul and financially ruining football clubs, what do you do to unwind?

What is higher... The amount of clubs you've ruined, or the amount of chins you have? #AskHarry

#AskHarry Who makes a better breakfast the morning after - Jermain Defoe, or Peter Crouch?

#AskHarry Do you enjoy bankrupting clubs and then blaming everyone else?

#AskHarry with all the money you've made from dodging tax have you ever thought of cosmetic surgery to sort your scrotum face out?

#AskHarry if you travel at 110mph and stick your head out of the window, does your face look normal?

Why are you such a lying, corrupt Turkey necked cunt?! You should be banged up you Judas scumbag. #AskHarry

#AskHarry why are you the most hated person in the world? Is it because you have birth to that moronic nitwitted cunt of a son.

Harry, your a cunt! And slag off the gooners any chance you get! What I wana know is, why are you such a twitchy cunt? #AskHarry

How many backhanders did Rosie the dog have to dish out from the Monaco bank account to seal the Samba deal? #AskHarry

How many times has Louise caught you in her dirty laundry basket ? #AskHarry

#AskHarry how much tax could a tax-dodging dog dodge, if a tax-dodging dog could dodge tax?

#AskHarry Do children ever ask for your autograph because they think you're the cheesestring man?

#AskHarry - How have you become such a 'media darling' when really all you are is a tax dodging rent-a-quote crook?

Would you rather a) wind back the clock an hour and not do this or b) live in Louise's washing basket for 7 days.

AskHarry how come the porridge in the 3 bears were all at different temperarures?? Despite being cooked in the same pan

#AskHarry apart from the fact he is a moron, how do you know Jamie is your son? He doesn't exactly look like a melted ballbag.

#askharry how long did it take to train your dog to do its own signature? #talented

Does your autobiography give page-by-page analysis of players you wanted but didn't sign? #AskHarry

#AskHarry Apparently your wife is a better striker than Darren Bent. Why haven't you borrowed money from your dog's account to sign her?

#AskHarry Have you considered starting you own social networking site Twitcher?

When your gaff got raided did you have time to put your pants on or did the old bill clock your face hanging under your dick #askharry

How many times have you shouted Louise when you've been smashing Sandra ? #AskHarry

#AskHarry How much do you think you need to spend to put QPR into administration?

How did you feel when people wanted to shit in a sock, freeze it & then cosh your saggy bonce?? #AskHarry

I want to buy your autobiography but I can't find it in the fiction section of bookshops...any ideas? #askharry

Is it true that you've never once forgotten about Dre

#AskHarry Is that really your face or are you building a mask out of old pieces of gum?

#AskHarry What's it like being so universally popular?

#AskHarry people in portsmouth say you are a crook and a drug dealer, is this true mate?

Was your dad a candle? #AskHarry

#AskHarry @OfficialQPR Would you rather your head was made into mash, or chips?

#AskHarry Is it true you signed Christopher Samba because you were in awe of his penis?

#askharry how often do you iron your face?
What's your dog's hourly charge out rate for tax advice? #AskHarry

#AskHarry have you ever dunked a biscuit into your brew with such force that the liquid vapourised and the mug exploded?

Any 3rd rate cunts you’ve signed for no mark shitehouse clubs who you HAVEN’T turned into #TopTop players, you twitching wreck? #AskHarry

AskHarry if you had to choose between trouncing the Championship with QPR and getting a brand new Rolls-Royce, what colour would it be?

#AskHarry If I draw a face on my bollocks & turn up to a press conference will they think it's you?

Have you ever had a short go on Louise? #AskHarry

#AskHarry Did you ever shag Clyde Best?

#AskHarry How many Peter and Jane books did you have to plough through and master before writing your book?

#AskHarry how did rosie feel about changing to chip and pin a few years back?

#AskHarry @OfficialQPR I heard your wife doesnt put out much but why do your dogs walk with a limp?

Have you tried Viagra cream on your face? #AskHarry

#AskHarry what does Louise's used cotton wool taste like?

#AskHarry Is there a football club that you have managed and then left that have fans that still like you?

If your such a managerial genius how come no one has a good word to say about you once you depart? #AskHarry

Is it better to be an arsed faced weasel or a weasel faced arse? #AskHarry

Why did you call Spurs fans scum and then 2 weeks later agree to become their manager? #askharry

How did it feel when Darren Bent had sex with your dog? #AskHarry

best way to Huddersfield from Dewsbury? a manhole cover has come off on the main road & it's blocked the road. thought you'd know. #AskHarry

Were you born a prick or did you work at it? #AskHarry

#AskHarry I'm having trouble with the finance on my old banger, can you buy it at an inflated price and then immediately loan it back to me